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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4 |
Did you ever do the full exposure? Your WH hasn't ended his affair and you need to go to Plan B after you expose properly. How to Plan B Correctly
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I would appreciate any experts advice on how handle the next month from my side. Do I ever send a "just because" text or do I go all the way little contact as possible. Hi LF, I am so sorry this has happened. The solution is to go into Plan B and cut off all contact with him. I assure you the affair is still ongoing. You don't need to know that to go into a pitch dark Plan B, just the fact that he won't work on the marriage is reason enough to go into Plan B. Are you familiar with Plan B? Do you have the book Survivng an Affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Here is some information about Plan B that will help you get prepared: Plan B
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
He is moving out so he can carry on his affair in peace while keeping you around as an option. He wants to keep the door open with you because you do meet some of his needs. He just wants to be able to tell people that he moved out because your marriage "didn't work out" so they don't know it is because of his affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
LF:
Did you ever expose properly?
Your husband is cake-eating. The A is still ongoing. Why do you think there is no contact presently? Hello catwhit! Yes I did expose properly. I have snooped like crazy, and the OW husband has confirmed no contact. I hate feeling like I am invading the OW husbands privacy, he doesn't want to know any details he told me " OW doesn't think I can handle it". I feel like I keep throwing the affair in his face each time I contact him. Does the OWH know your husband has moved out so now it will be easier for him to pursue his wife? I am sure that is the plan. The affair has gone deep underground while they move out all pretending they are ending their marriages.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 37 |
LF:
Did you ever expose properly?
Your husband is cake-eating. The A is still ongoing. Why do you think there is no contact presently? Hello catwhit! Yes I did expose properly. I have snooped like crazy, and the OW husband has confirmed no contact. I hate feeling like I am invading the OW husbands privacy, he doesn't want to know any details he told me " OW doesn't think I can handle it". I feel like I keep throwing the affair in his face each time I contact him. Does the OWH know your husband has moved out so now it will be easier for him to pursue his wife? I am sure that is the plan. The affair has gone deep underground while they move out all pretending they are ending their marriages. Thanks Melody! No I have not contacted the OWH since my husband moved out. Like I said I feel like I am invading his privacy each time I reach out to him. He doesn't want any information. I hate to think I am triggering someone every time I contact.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4 |
OWBH needs to know the information that your WH has moved out. He can decide what he wants to do, but you need to let him know.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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