[Right now, I'm really hurting. It's been nearly six months that she has frozen me out. For awhile we seemed to be getting better, but then she completely shut off emotionally. She's reaching out to more and more people who are against our relationship and advising her to leave me. She is telling them secrets and betraying my trust. She has gone so far as to re-characterize events in our life to make me look like a bad guy - when just a short time before all this started, she would have said the exact opposite.

I have to admit that I'm really weak right now.

I need someone to love me. I need to hear that I'm admired and appreciated. I need hugs. I need affection.

I'm completely ripe for an affair - even to the point of contemplating it. Finding someone online to meet these emotional needs that are screaming at me.

Please pray for me. Please pray for us. I am so lonely and hurt right now. I'm still lost. I'm still alone. My strength is failing.

I hesitate to post this. I don't want to admit to my weakness. I don't want to admit to my pain. I don't want to influence others - but I really need some support.]

You are hurting because you have been floundering in the dark for so long.

I think it is past time for her phone to have a dreadful, fatal accident. Then you buy her a new one, download Flexispy and start killing the affair.

Please don't make the mistake of sinking to a waywards level. It will make things much worse for you and your kids. Focus your hurt and anger to fighting this affair!

In fact, you could buy a phone now and have it ready. Or find one of your old phones and have it loaded up and ready to go when her current phone is kaput.

The flexispy can also track passwords to Facebook, etc so you can grab them for use later.

I came across this article and realized that my wife is displaying at least 16 of the 21 signs - and three more are "maybe". I can only honestly say that she's not displaying two of them....

I read this article and realized that Becky is displaying at least 16 of these 21 signs that the relationship is doomed. .

**EDIT**

1) Resentment - Yes

2) Disrespect - Yes

3) Contempt - Yes

4) Lying - Yes

5) Mistrust - Yes

6) Badmouthing - Yes

7) Distancing - Yes

8) Demanding proofs of love - Maybe

9) Public Humiliation - Yes

10) Obsession with another person - Yes

11) Obsession with pornography - No

12) Emotional Infidelity - Yes

13) Inability to Resolve Conflict - Yes

14) Sabotage - Yes

15) Addictive Behaviors - Maybe

16) Unhealthy Attachments - Yes

17) Threats and emotional blackmail - Yes

18) Comparisons and ratings - Maybe

19) Indifference - Yes

20) Withdrawal of Affection - Yes

21) Physical Violence - No


I feel like there's no hope at all. Last night she was cold, distant, unemotional and looking at her call log, she was on the phone with two of her friends who are strongly against the survival of our relationship.

When she came to bed last night, it was like an enemy walked into our bedroom. She was cold, distant and her attitude and demeanor seethed with contempt.

Is there any hope?

Sir, I encourage you to just focus on following Dr. Harley's recommendations and programs.
There are many different articles and plans out on the Internet, but you need to stick to one plan.
It's like in Business...you make a plan and stick with it.

I run long distance and short distance races. Last weekend, I ran a 5k and was 5th place! Many get into running, sometimes training for a marathon or shorter race but they don't stick with a plan. The ones that usually finish a marathon or even a 5k are those who have a plan and follow it.

I think you should just focus on reading Dr. Harley's articles, books and listen to the Radio Show daily for insight on your situation.

Yeah? So what? We all know waywards are messed up in the head. Doesn't change the advice you have been given over the last 2 months that you have yet to follow. Or the advice Dr Harley himself gave you.

Get the evidence- expose!- plan A

If you continue to do nothing but [censored]-foot around and try to understand your wayward wife, then you are right, there is no hope.

Sir, hire a PI.
They probably have sex after their "workouts" and he can get proof for exposure.
Focus on getting this evidence so you can expose.

Radio Clip of Hosea1968's Call
Segment #2
Segment #3

Have you followed up with Dr. Harley since your call?

Affair phones are very common. They are cheap and you can't install spyware on it even if you had access to it.
At this point, I feel a PI is the best route for you to go.

Please don't go down the route of having your own affair. My WH did this when I had an affair. Went and found someone online because like you wanted to feel loved and appreciated. Then when I finally came out of the fog it was too late and his affair was so entrenched and now they are living together and buying a house and divorcing me. It seriously isn't worth it.

Before you know it you're entrenched in an affair of your own, WW will be out of hers and you'll be in your own fog.

It's not my WH's fault I had my affair but I wish he had exposed me and brought me out of the fog. I wouldn't have thanked him at the time but I sure as would have been thankful later.

You need to expose the affair. You need to do this for her. One day she will be glad you did.

She file don Monday. I received the paperwork today - first I knew of it. She's been telling me every day since Monday that she loves me. I don't understand or get what's going on.

Should I expose now? I've been trying to find evidence more recent than three years ago.

Sir, this was posted to you 4 months ago:

Instead of listening to the advice, you decided to follow your own custom plan.

Do you want to end this affair and save your marriage?

Then you better get on the train because it's pulling out of the station and in a few months you'll be in the courtroom

When your wife has been in an affair for years, and you have not followed the advice on how to end the affair, and now *as predicted* she has filed for divorce, how can you possibly say you don't understand what's going on?

Hosea, you need to get your head out of the sand. Your unwillingness to expose has likely cost you your marriage.

You should have exposed a long long time ago, but since you didn't, yes, do it now.

Hosea,

You have been watching your WW living a secret second life with this OW with whom she had a sexual affair, for what is it now two or three years. Even if WW is divorcing you need to make things right, for the years of emotional abandonment you have put up with.

Do you kids know that this OW is not an Auntie type figure, but someone who has destroyed their family? Do you want to see OW living with your WW flaunting it in your face.

Get your butt to the school at which they teach together, to the churches they attend and expose like mad. Find all of the OWs relatives and carpet bomb them with exposure. If you feel guilty about doing so, given your part in creating this monster, make your own confession.

God Bless
Gamma

I was on yesterday's show.

My lawyer is strongly advising me against exposure - saying it'll ruin my case. Right now, I'm very concerned about losing all access to my children.

Yes, I listened to other advice. Looking back, I see that I should've exposed.

However, if I do so now, I jeopardize custody with my children.

How many marriages has your Divorce Attorney saved from infidelity?

Do you feel his advice has ANY chance at all of reconciling your marriage, or just less legal work for him to handle a non-contested divorce?

LTL