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Okay, that one is amusing.  No, don't discard the evidence. Don't have such discussions with her. If she brings it up, change the subject.
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My WW ask me today to discard the evidence of her communications with the OM. According to her, it would help me heal faster. Should I keep the records? KEEP THE EVIDENCE!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hide it some place where she can't destroy it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I still have evidence from my WxW affair in 2007...I never exposed to my daughter since she was only 3 at the time, and if it ever comes up I want to have the proof.
Me DH33
Her DW33
DS3
Divorced WxW38 7/09
DD9
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Update, so finally back in the US, I am still traumatized and hurting. I thought my WW was doing better and finally over but two days before our flight she was contemplating running away with the OM. Well, she tried, but changed her mind. She apologized today but I know is a long road to recovery.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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So I have a question. my WW told me today that she wants to work on our marriage and fix things but she is not sure if she wants to stay married. Is this normal? I mean, I am the one that was hurt. I am the one who should be thinking about it.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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So I have a question. my WW told me today that she wants to work on our marriage and fix things but she is not sure if she wants to stay married. Is this normal? I mean, I am the one that was hurt. I am the one who should be thinking about it. Very, very normal. Until she comes out of the fog expect her to say many things like this. Are you verifying NC? Have you been to your doctor for some ADs? It would be a good idea for her to get on some ADs also until she makes it through the fog and withdrawal.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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So I have a question. my WW told me today that she wants to work on our marriage and fix things but she is not sure if she wants to stay married. Is this normal? I mean, I am the one that was hurt. I am the one who should be thinking about it. Don't expect logic. My wife repeated questioned my commitment to our marriage after her affair. It never made sense to me. I had never said or done anything but be completely faithful. Affair fog is anything but logical.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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Joined: Jul 2014
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Yes, I am verifying NC. We changed phone numbers and everything. I am still concern she will try to contact the OM using a friend or someone else phone but the computer and personal phones are monitored for NC. We are going to see a doctor next week.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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I feel I need to see a doctor too. I am very traumatized by all this and she is making progress but the idea she might try contact the OM is not helping me.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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My WW ask me today to discard the evidence of her communications with the OM. According to her, it would help me heal faster. Should I keep the records? KEEP THE EVIDENCE!! If needed, upload the records to a secure cloud server so she cant find it and destroy it
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Hi, I moved everything to the cloud. My WW is taking some steps to get out of the fog but I am not very optimistic. I don't want to be overly excited and get hurt later. She started reading some MB, she was first in denial to read anything. Also she agreed with the monitoring,there is no more "private" conversations or online activity which I think is good.
I am still struggling with plan A, is not easy to avoid love busters 100% of the time after discovering your wife was having a PA.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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I feel I need to see a doctor too. I am very traumatized by all this and she is making progress but the idea she might try contact the OM is not helping me. Yes and ask him for some ADs.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi, so 10 days have passed since my WW had contact with the OM. I feel her loyalty is totally divided, some times she is happy with me, other times she looks like she miss the OM. Anyway, I wonder how long this will last before I just give up.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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Hi, so 10 days have passed since my WW had contact with the OM. I feel her loyalty is totally divided, some times she is happy with me, other times she looks like she miss the OM. Anyway, I wonder how long this will last before I just give up. Have you verified NC between them?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi, so 10 days have passed since my WW had contact with the OM. I feel her loyalty is totally divided, some times she is happy with me, other times she looks like she miss the OM. Anyway, I wonder how long this will last before I just give up. Just hang in there!! You are doing just fine. I can tell she is withdrawing. It takes 3 to 6 months. The more she withdraws, the more she will draw to you. Just make sure you are very pleasant to be around. Don't bring up the affair, don't love bust. Make sure you are getting out on lots and lots of dates.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Did either of you get on ADs?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Hi:
We moved back to the US and the OM lives in a different country. Home PC, laptop, cell phones are all monitored, my WW know about it and she agreed to have all electronic communications monitored. I am 99% sure there is NC.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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Yes, we are on AD. I will wait and see, she was very honest when we arrived back and said she needs to get over the OM.
Me-BH-35
WW-31
Married for 5 years
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Yes, we are on AD. I will wait and see, she was very honest when we arrived back and said she needs to get over the OM. Just wait and see. If she knows about your surveillance then how can you be sure she's not contacting him some other way? How much UA time are you getting?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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