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Joined: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by how_to_believe
Yes he is doing all the EP that are needed. He has been really great with trying to meet my EN. This old affair is from years in the past but he did lie about it when I asked if there was anything that happened with this W. I had asked about this when we were talking about the recent affair.

Now I wish I would had just left it in the past. You are right that I just brought it to the present and now I am hurting again even though he is trying is best to follow the program.

I guess at this point I am not following the program. I need to stay in the present. For some reason I just needed to know about this one person. Now I want to unknow....
Was/is the OW married?

Are all avenues that allowed his affair been closed?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Apr 2010
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I'm very sorry for this blow to your heart, mind and understanding of your marriage.

You have pointed out that your husband has changed his work e-mail, work phone etc. Did he put down his facebook page? Just blocking someone leaves the possibility of contact via another alias open. Did you change your home phone number?

Be sure to include a question about if he ever inappropriatly kissed, touched, contacted any other person during your relationship that you would like to know about. You can post the question here to review the wording. He is obviously hiding things and it is very concerning that he passed the polygraph regardless. Polygraphs are not bad, but there is a reason that they are not used in European law inforcement.
You may want to speak to the person performing the polygraph in advance.


me, DH
all the children
Joined: Aug 2014
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The OW that I just found out about is not married but has a live in boyfriend of many years. This inappropriate kissing and touching happened more than 10 years ago. I asked my FWH about her again because I remembered feeling like there was something going on back then. When I had him take the polygragh recently, I had the question about...Were there any other affairs. I wish I would have worded it differently like..inappropriate kissing and touching.

When I recently asked him again about it, he did confess to the inappropriate behavior. He said he wanted to be transparent and open and honest like the program says. He felt like he just didn't want to hurt me further with this old information. He said it was wrong and he was very sorry to hurt me again.

Joined: Aug 2014
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All venues that lead to this affair have been closed. New place of work, close email acct, new phone number and facebook has been closed for over a year.

I am thinking about telling the person who did the polygragh about the lie not being caught. It cost a lot of money to ask those questions. I would think there would have been some sort of deception caught from the lie.


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