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My husband filed the papers in person today!! Most likely it will be approved and we will hear back in 1.5 to 2 weeks. That could be IT! Done. Finito. Fini!

Wow. What a roller coaster. Thank you for your help everyone. This isn't the ending I thought I wanted when I started this thread, but then again, I feel about a million times better than when I started this thread.

Last edited by luna_alpha; 12/12/14 08:40 PM.
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I didn't expect the debilitating amount of grief I am feeling today.

Guessing that is normal. It is a huge life event after all.

Of course, after a rough morning, my IM told me he contacted me about wanting some joint budgeting account back. No. He abandoned that account, and he abandoned me. He gets nothing.

Last edited by luna_alpha; 12/13/14 04:51 PM.
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Sorry things are rough today. It will get better.


Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
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What can you do for yourself on days like that? Always have a stock of goodies or something soothing and low key to do like favourite movies.

It is INCREDIBLE news that the legalaties are going smoothly. You are going to be OK in no time.

Don't forget though that even celebrated divorces bring an awful lot of grief with them. Take good care of yourself chickadee.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by nmwb77
Sorry things are rough today. It will get better.

Originally Posted by indiegirl
What can you do for yourself on days like that? Always have a stock of goodies or something soothing and low key to do like favourite movies.

It is INCREDIBLE news that the legalaties are going smoothly. You are going to be OK in no time.

Don't forget though that even celebrated divorces bring an awful lot of grief with them. Take good care of yourself chickadee.

Ditto both of these things!!!! Take care of Luna remember Plan Luna away rcoaster

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Thanks guys. I have been asked out to lunch and for a long (platonic) weekend in an exotic country by two different guys, so that helps me feel some hope for the future. There are some 'lovers' out there for me, in the Dr. Harley sense (as opposed to dislikers, etc).

It is really hard to admit the dream is over. I was so committed. I could not conceive of giving up, even when I was in tears due to this or that.

I have good people in my life and am trying to cut myself some slack. This week I'll have time to do my more unpacking and perhaps it won't feel so rough being at home.

I've also decided I'm not moving again soon but am going to stand up the manager at the apartment complex about his smoke coming in my window. He lives there, he has to follow the same rules as the rest of us. Seemingly unrelated, but I am going to work on having better boundaries with everybody. Calm, but firm.

Rock on, as my friend T says.

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Okay, finally. I have two more things to do for school but they aren't due until Friday so I can have most of the next three or four days to finally do more unpacking, sleep, take a bath and just try to be nice to myself.

It has been a long, hard quarter and I'm ready for it.

The best news is that my advisor for thesis hours was super understanding about my concentration challenges this quarter and is willing to work with me next quarter on *both* projects I want to do. Wow, people can be so nice. Thank goodness, because I really needed some kindness.

Laying in bed, waiting for my pizza to cook, and then it's off to unpacking the kitchen.

Last edited by luna_alpha; 12/16/14 03:44 PM.
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Originally Posted by luna_alpha
Okay, finally. I have two more things to do for school but they aren't due until Friday so I can have most of the next three or four days to finally do more unpacking, sleep, take a bath and just try to be nice to myself.

It has been a long, hard quarter and I'm ready for it.

The best news is that my advisor for thesis hours was super understanding about my concentration challenges this quarter and is willing to work with me next quarter on *both* projects I want to do. Wow, people can be so nice. Thank goodness, because I really needed some kindness.

Laying in bed, waiting for my pizza to cook, and then it's off to unpacking the kitchen.
smile Glad to see you doing well, getting some time and help.

pm18 #2834356 12/17/14 05:28 PM
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It's official. Judge signed the paperwork yesterday morning at 9:10 am. (Not sure why the clerk told me the time, but what the heck, thought I'd pass that on too.)

I am single. When things are calmer in the new year, I might start a thread in the dating section.

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Take care. It's going to be an emotional thing for a while. We look forward to happy updates.


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Congratulations.
I celebrated by having a bonfire and drinking a beer while burning everything my wife had given me.
How are you celebrating?

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Well, my celebration is rather low key. smile

I got my bike tires pumped up and took my first bike ride to campus (so out of shape!) and got the hotels reserved for my traveling job days next month, as well as rent payments set up.

Dinner was a bag of my favorite chips and sour cream, possibly followed by pizza later (luckily weight is not an issue for me so this fall has been eat whatever it takes to get through the day).

So I'll probably have a glass of wine while reading scripts and writing feedback.

It doesn't sound like much, but my real celebrations is being kind to myself about not doing any unpacking today whatsoever. wink It's a good day.

Last edited by luna_alpha; 12/17/14 08:56 PM.
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I was married for 37048 hours, give or take an hour...

I also figured out how much an hour it cost me to have a husband! Not quite up to sharing that, sorry...

Last edited by luna_alpha; 12/17/14 08:59 PM.
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Do you like doing sums or something? Work out how much in percentage terms your hourly rate has just gone up by!

Do celebrate chicky. Its a whole new start.


Originally Posted by luna_alpha
Thanks guys. I have been asked out to lunch and for a long (platonic) weekend in an exotic country by two different guys, so that helps me feel some hope for the future. There are some 'lovers' out there for me, in the Dr. Harley sense (as opposed to dislikers, etc).
.


Do be careful here. You're divorced, so do as you please, but men don't invite women on weekend breaks platonically. You also showed up on their radar while still going through the divorce. A state which some men view as a vulnerability they can profit from.

You probably are too, but you would know better than me. Better than they would too. They might also be fantastic guys, but do give them a wary eye before you conclude so.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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I'm glad self care is on your list. A spa day is a very good way to treat yourself. That's very important.

Have you read Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders? That book is a fantastic book to read when you get ready to date.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by luna_alpha
It's official. Judge signed the paperwork yesterday morning at 9:10 am. (Not sure why the clerk told me the time, but what the heck, thought I'd pass that on too.)

I am single. When things are calmer in the new year, I might start a thread in the dating section.

Congratulations Luna, I know this is not what you initially wanted but since you changed your mind and went for it I am so happy for you for getting it over with and now you really can MOVE on.


I am sure that is an exciting feeling. Good Luck!!!!

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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Congratulations Luna, I know this is not what you initially wanted but since you changed your mind and went for it I am so happy for you for getting it over with and now you really can MOVE on.


I am sure that is an exciting feeling. Good Luck!!!!

Thanks! I do have second thoughts, but am trying to not think about it too much.

The bottom line is I can't have kids, and we blew our chance to have embryos for a surrogate because he wasn't willing to keep going. So now, realistically, he's going to have kids with someone else and it's over. It hurts now, but hopefully it will get better. Especially when I find someone who will really care about me.

In the meanwhile, or perhaps for the rest of my life, I never want to hear a thing about him again.

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Indie,

I am definitely keeping a wary eye out on guys. The last thing I want to do is jump from the frying pan to the fire.

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Good. You are a catch so be sure and take your time.

I was surprised I had so many 'platonic' friends and something tells me you will attract similar hopefuls.

Some see divorces as the dating equivalent of a shoe sale... Tell them you aren't a bargain basement half off deal!

Last edited by indiegirl; 12/18/14 01:09 PM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by luna_alpha
I was married for 37048 hours, give or take an hour...

I also figured out how much an hour it cost me to have a husband! Not quite up to sharing that, sorry...

Luna, don't torture yourself with stuff like this. Yuck!


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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