|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
Hi BrainHurts,
My self-care is OK at best. Since I got laid off, I am trying to look for jobs, deal with these legal issues and potentially move. I also have to watch money because of the lay-off.
However, I am going to church and hanging out with friends as much as possible. I also managed to potty train my kid, which is great! I kept feeling bad about that, but it was impossible with my WH flittering in and out of my life.
I am spending Thanksgiving with my mom, daughter and some of old-lady friends from church (I love them) It should be a good time. I am planning on spending Christmas in SoCal with my Dad.
Yeah, his waywardness is strange. He is sort of half coming out of it, I think; although I try not to think too deeply about it.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Hi BrainHurts,
My self-care is OK at best. Since I got laid off, I am trying to look for jobs, deal with these legal issues and potentially move. I also have to watch money because of the lay-off.
However, I am going to church and hanging out with friends as much as possible. I also managed to potty train my kid, which is great! I kept feeling bad about that, but it was impossible with my WH flittering in and out of my life.
I am spending Thanksgiving with my mom, daughter and some of old-lady friends from church (I love them) It should be a good time. I am planning on spending Christmas in SoCal with my Dad.
Yeah, his waywardness is strange. He is sort of half coming out of it, I think; although I try not to think too deeply about it. Fantastic!! Enjoy your time!!
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
He figured out how to message me today. Time to change my number, I guess. I'm so tired. I just need to move on.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Yes change your number! This whole time you were waiting for this. Seek freedom from those traps!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
Yeah.
My dad apparently put a message on his FB today stating "you would not be in this situation if you had not cheated on your wife" after he posted something about missing his daughter.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
My dad should just ignore him, but I can't say that I don't agree with the sentiment.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 316 |
Ugh. Sorry to hear this is so hard.
Don't know what to say about your Dad, except it seems that social disapproval is a huge part of exposure. Having people be blunt about waywardness is good. But telling you about it right now might not be good. You need peace and not to get sucked in right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Yes change your number! This whole time you were waiting for this. Seek freedom from those traps! When will you be changing your number?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Yeah.
My dad apparently put a message on his FB today stating "you would not be in this situation if you had not cheated on your wife" after he posted something about missing his daughter. Love it!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
My number will be changed on Monday afternoon after I talk to the Harleys. =) Actually, I could probably do it this weekend and just send Joyce the new number.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
My dad should just ignore him, but I can't say that I don't agree with the sentiment. It's great for your dad to put such pressure on him - but when you are in Plan B he shouldn't talk to you about him.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
My dad didn't tell me. WH got through my phone block and sent me a text about it. I didn't answer. I just deleted it and blocked the number he sent it from.
I called my dad and we had a good laugh about it though. My dad hasn't said anything until now to him. My brother and a few others sent him emails/texts, etc when I was doing exposure a month or so ago (I met him through my brother's college Christian Fellowship, so he is particularly aghast). In any case, I guess pops couldn't contain himself anymore because he keeps posting pathetic things about missing our daughter. Of course, he doesn't have to miss our daughter...he doesn't have to be wayward. He chooses to be. He is choosing his misery...and my dad decided to point that out. Thankful for pops!
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
WH just told my IM that he would let us move to Southern California and that he would follow sometime in 2015.
I'll be talking to Dr. Harley tomorrow about what to do next.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
WH just told my IM that he would let us move to Southern California and that he would follow sometime in 2015.
I'll be talking to Dr. Harley tomorrow about what to do next. Let us know what he says.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
Yeah.
My dad apparently put a message on his FB today stating "you would not be in this situation if you had not cheated on your wife" after he posted something about missing his daughter. Love it!! x 2 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
WH just told my IM that he would let us move to Southern California **fingers crossed for you**
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
[quote=MelodyLane][quote=PigletWiglet]Yeah.
My dad apparently put a message on his FB today stating "you would not be in this situation if you had not cheated on your wife" after he posted something about missing his daughter. Excellent!
Last edited by indiegirl; 12/01/14 11:19 AM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991 |
Hi All,
I hope you enjoyed my call today. My WH sent my lawyer the property agreement. The property stuff is mostly fine, but he also added this stuff:
"Additionally, on good faith, PigletWiglet will:
1. Not file for divorce until after August 1, 2015, should she choose to divorce.
2. Should PigletWiglet find employment with an insurance offering, WH will be included in that package but must reimburse **** for his share of cost.
3. Not block WH's phone calls, Skype account, texts, or email addresses. Additionally, PigletWiglet will inform WH of any and all email and phone number changes. PigletWiglet will also get a new phone and phone number by the end of the first week of December and inform WH by text from said new number so that he can cancel her old number.
It is my full intent to get my [censored] together, launch my writing career and find a job in the OC/LA area that will allow me to be an active participant in my child's weekly, if not daily, life. I am still open to the possibility of reconciliation with my wife.
The above are the changes to the outline that need to be in any legal documents. Said documents will be reviewed by legal council. I understand that some of these agreements are in good faith and cannot be upheld in court, while some can.
I hope to God I'm not going to get stabbed in the back."
I like he is scared of being "stabbed in the back." We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?... Waywards. OH GEEZ. Anyway, I don't want to agree to not file for divorce and/or talk to him. That would be crazy. I am SO MUCH BETTER now that I don't talk to him.
** Moderator note: edited to remove names
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
I would't worry about it. You can still file for separation and probably even divorce...he can try to sue you lol...good luck with that!! Same with talking or not blockingt him. There is a ton of ways to avoid all that and continue to Plan B him. I would just go along with it to get moved. The whole thing is stupid and not enforceable. He already admits that so don't worry about it. Get the agreement done and MOVE!
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
2 members (SadNewYorker, 1 invisible),
1,091
guests, and
69
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
