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Hi All,
I hope you enjoyed my call today. My WH sent my lawyer the property agreement. The property stuff is mostly fine, but he also added this stuff:
"Additionally, on good faith, PigletWiglet will:
1. Not file for divorce until after August 1, 2015, should she choose to divorce.
2. Should PigletWiglet find employment with an insurance offering, WH will be included in that package but must reimburse Nina for his share of cost.
3. Not block WH's phone calls, Skype account, texts, or email addresses. Additionally, PigletWiglet will inform WH of any and all email and phone number changes. PigletWiglet will also get a new phone and phone number by the end of the first week of December and inform WH by text from said new number so that he can cancel her old number. I hope you didn't die laughing over that!!  It is so typical for a WS to object to Plan B because they HATE losing control over the BS!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So what do I do? Should I just agree to it and then do what I need to do after he signs the thing? I just want to GO!
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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So what do I do? Should I just agree to it and then do what I need to do after he signs the thing? I just want to GO! Yes
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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It doesn't even say you agree to talk to him or will respond. All it says is you won't block him, etc. If you block him, oh well. If he shoots off emails to a dummy account, oh well. If you never reply, oh well. The whole thing is dumb and has ZERO teeth to it. Keep his EXACT words.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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If I happen to file for divorce in three months...oh well..
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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If I happen to file for divorce in three months...oh well.. Pretty much
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Plus you may have signed under duress so oh well. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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PW, I don't recall if you are still using your mom as IM but if you need an IM just let me know. I have been an IM before. You can click notify on this post and ask a moderator for my email address. Or if you want to discuss anything offline, you can ask for my email.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Hi All,
I hope you enjoyed my call today. My WH sent my lawyer the property agreement. The property stuff is mostly fine, but he also added this stuff:
"Additionally, on good faith, PigletWiglet will:
1. Not file for divorce until after August 1, 2015, should she choose to divorce.
2. Should PigletWiglet find employment with an insurance offering, WH will be included in that package but must reimburse **** for his share of cost.
3. Not block WH's phone calls, Skype account, texts, or email addresses. Additionally, PigletWiglet will inform WH of any and all email and phone number changes. PigletWiglet will also get a new phone and phone number by the end of the first week of December and inform WH by text from said new number so that he can cancel her old number.
It is my full intent to get my [censored] together, launch my writing career and find a job in the OC/LA area that will allow me to be an active participant in my child's weekly, if not daily, life. I am still open to the possibility of reconciliation with my wife.
The above are the changes to the outline that need to be in any legal documents. Said documents will be reviewed by legal council. I understand that some of these agreements are in good faith and cannot be upheld in court, while some can.
I hope to God I'm not going to get stabbed in the back."
I like he is scared of being "stabbed in the back." We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?... Waywards. OH GEEZ. Anyway, I don't want to agree to not file for divorce and/or talk to him. That would be crazy. I am SO MUCH BETTER now that I don't talk to him.
** Moderator note: edited to remove names PW, I just want to make sure you are not beholden to any of this legally? Most waywards will try to FORCE their spouse to allow their contact and that is a big NO-NO in Plan B. That is not something you want to agree to under any conditions. Plan B comes FIRST. Are you able to continue your Plan B?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am in Plan B, but I just want him to sign the agreement so I can move.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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I am in Plan B, but I just want him to sign the agreement so I can move. Will your plan B be protected?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am trying to do that, but he wants me to agree to communicate wth him before he signs the move-away agreement for my daughter. At this point, I don't care. I just want to move. I can go back into Plan B in three weeks after I am moved. He just needs to sign the freakin' thing.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I am trying to do that, but he wants me to agree to communicate wth him before he signs the move-away agreement for my daughter. At this point, I don't care. I just want to move. I can go back into Plan B in three weeks after I am moved. He just needs to sign the freakin' thing. Gotcha. Most WS's are infuriated about Plan B and don't like losing control of the BS. This is a pretty classic stunt.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
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Yeah,
My lawyer was confused his statement that I was going to "stab him in the back" because I agreed to his property and custody terms (which were reasonable, actually). She wondered what I would stab him in the back doing. I said, I would move, then file for divorce, which is what he doesn't want.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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What did your lawyer think about the enforcability of the added terms if you later violate them?
Last edited by apples123; 12/01/14 07:52 PM.
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"Additionally, on good faith, PigletWiglet will:
1. Not file for divorce until after August 1, 2015, should she choose to divorce.
2. Should PigletWiglet find employment with an insurance offering, WH will be included in that package but must reimburse **** for his share of cost.
3. Not block WH's phone calls, Skype account, texts, or email addresses. Additionally, PigletWiglet will inform WH of any and all email and phone number changes. PigletWiglet will also get a new phone and phone number by the end of the first week of December and inform WH by text from said new number so that he can cancel her old number.
It is my full intent to get my [censored] together, launch my writing career and find a job in the OC/LA area that will allow me to be an active participant in my child's weekly, if not daily, life. I am still open to the possibility of reconciliation with my wife.
The above are the changes to the outline that need to be in any legal documents. Said documents will be reviewed by legal council. I understand that some of these agreements are in good faith and cannot be upheld in court, while some can.
I hope to God I'm not going to get stabbed in the back."
** Moderator note: edited to remove names I would not sign it even though you are hot to move. You would offer a counter like so: 1. Should PigletWiglet find employment with an insurance offering during separation, WH will be included in that package but must reimburse **** for his share of cost. 2. PigletWiglet will provide that WH is able to communicate financial and child visitation information in a timely manner.
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Why would she counter? WH's terms are crap. Countering is only going to waste more time and money...and it's still crap. This move could have happened a long time ago. PW's plan B isn't even peaceful because this move or filing is constantly an issue.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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PW, about the only thing I would possibly change is that he can't file for divorce by that date either. That way he can't file D (or thinks he can't) and throw more possible monkey wrenches in the mix. Even if he did file, that he allowed you to move would work against him anyway but maybe include that he can't file for D either...not that it means squat or that you can't file for legal separation as soon as you arrive in SC. You do not have to wait three months for that and can request an order for child support etc if you file for legal separation.
Last edited by black_raven; 12/01/14 10:44 PM.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Posts: 1,842
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I haven't been in your shoes, but my sister has. So I will give you the advice I would give her...this counter:
1. Neither will file until May 2015 (6 months, no more. It will take that long for you to be 100% settled anyway.)
2. Keep WH on health insurance if payment received by 15th of each month, including the current. {could add the following} If payment is not received on time, you will assume he intends to file for divorce and remove him from the policy as well as no longer be obligated by #1.
3. You have previously arranged timely communication concerning your child. If WH would like to re-instate open communications, he is aware of the necessary conditions that must be meet. You are willing to build a loving marriage but cannot reasonable be expected to do so while he continues his affair.
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PW, what exactly is your lawyer preparing?
If you can swing it, I wouldn't even look for a job and focus on moving, getting settled and healing more. Between living at your parent's house, receiving unemployment and requesting child support...could you go without working for a while? The health insurance for WH would be moot then and if you file for separation a new employer or carrier may not even allow him to be added so that would also make his stipulation moot.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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