First, I know the importance of UA and that is why I am posting to get some ideas of how to incorporate at least 15hrs of UA into our schedules.

I know it is not impossible but it seems hard to do with 3 kids, limited funds and no family to help with babysitting. My kids are 9, 7 and 11 months, so obviously can't rely on the oldest to care for the other 2.

The baby is so attached to me as I am his caregiver and he is breastfed. The oldest needs help with school work in the evenings and the middle child is the least needy.

My husband leaves for work at 6:30am and gets home between 4:30-5pm
depending on traffic and if he has to work overtime. My 2 oldest are in after school activities Mon, Tues and Thurs til about 6:30pm. I try to get my oldest to do his school work with me before his activity on Tues and Thurs, so we just have to do dinner, bath and bed. They are in bed by 9pm every day, all 3 of them unless baby is having a bad day. So that leaves Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We can probably afford a babysitter once a week. I have one person who would watch them for free on a Friday or Saturday but not every week. My sil would keep the 2 oldest but not the baby. I could probably have the 2 big kids have a playdate with one of their friend's every now and then but again, the baby, would be the issue. Not many people are willing to watch the baby as he is just more work and sometimes nothing soothes him, then again, if he can't seem me, he seems to do a little better. I am not comfortable leaving him with just anyone and I know my husband wouldn't be either, so we'd be worried about him the whole time and what good does UA do if we can't focus on anything but worry about the baby?

I thought maybe I could do an hour or so on the days the kids have after school activities by taking a walk with my husband with the baby in the stroller but any time we have a kid with us doesn't count. Right? Even if he is asleep?

I am going to ask a couple of moms to see if they are willing to watch my kids on Wednesdays and I can watch theirs Mon, Tues or Thurs. Friday and Saturday, I might be able to get the babysitter or the other person to watch them. Maybe my SIL will agree to keep all 3 kids for a few hours on Sunday. Any other ideas? Again, the big issue is finding care for the baby.

Have you checked the babysitting/nannie sites to see if you could afford someone who is qualified?

Do you belong to a church? What about an elderly neighbor or family member?

Does your H have any ideas?

I encourage you to consider joining a church.
There are many opportunities for kids to be involved there leaving time for you and your husband.
Some churches have free babysitting nights so the parents can go on dates too

I have three kids as well. Mine are 7,5 and 15mos. We started with ua time when the little one was 4 mos old. He is exclusively bf as well.
We have family around, so that helps a lot. Here are some suggestions.
Find a gym with daycare.
Join a church or mommy groups. These are great for free childcare.
If there us a college around, look for sitters there, they are usually cheaper.

Also, don't forget. Babies are prety adaptable, I know that as a Mom I want the best for my baby. The best for a baby is complete family so don't get caught up worrying about hours away from baby. He will be ok, you'll both be back.

Thanks for the reply. It helps a lot that your kids are kind of close in age to mine. It makes it seem so much more attainable. I will look into the church and mommy groups. I am not worried so much about being away from the baby (I definitely could use the break either way), just worried about who is caring for him. If I had my dad or brother here it would be a non issue. I have a babysitter and another person I can use Fridays or Saturdays (not sure every week but I bet the girl would love to make a weekly income). Maybe the other person will enjoy it because her grandkid will have someone to play with and they both LOVE the baby. I will ask her about church too, I know her granddaughter goes on Wed, maybe they have something for babies, too?

I will look into the church.


I don't think we would be able to afford a weekly sitter/nanny just yet. We need to get our finances under control and I am looking at some at home work opportunities. I don't belong to a church but will be looking into it. Elderly neighbor would not be able to care for the baby and the only close family member (husband's sister) would babysit the 2 older kids but not the baby unless it was an emergency.

Husband just mentioned our teenage neighbor, who is the one babysitter I mentioned. She is great with the kids and I actually trust her more than some adults. He just says "how are we going to do this?" I guess it is up to me to prove to him that I will make time for him and only him.

You mentioned having no family close. Is it possible to move closer to family?

Since UA time should happen forever, and is not just a short term fix of sorts, then you will be dealing with child care issues long term and therefore might want to consider some long term solutions.

Moving closer to family is not an option right now. I know UA is forever but I figured kids will grow, I mean I would think that in 3-4yrs, my oldest would be able to babysit his siblings for a few hours, also in a year or 2, it will be easier to find childcare for the baby, as he will be older and less attached to me (for example my sister in law refuses to watch anyone's baby unless it is a true emergency but will keep my older boys with no problem, I guess because babies are way more work, and when they cry, you have no clue why and sometimes nothing you do calms them down). Basically, I need a short term solution because I have a baby that not everyone is willing to babysit but I know plenty of people that would not mind watching him when he is 2-3yr olds. He is about to turn 1, so in a years time, my babysitting options will be more. That is why I am looking for options for the immediate NOW and not really worrying to much about long term. He will not be a baby forever.