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Wenang,
I say this with kindness, but my best friend is the kind of person who will tell me to shut up and let it go when I dwell on things. Or who cares? Or so what?
And sometimes it's what I need to hear.
You seem to be dwelling on this in an unhealthy way.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Do you exercise?
What do you do for fun?
This is a great time in your life to find new hobbies and surround yourself with GOOD things and people.
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Yes, I know you are right. You have to remember, I am much older than you. I have known and been close with his family for over 40 years! I've given them so much and cared for them through the years. I considered them MY family especially since I have only a 91 year old mom and no siblings. It's not good to dwell...I get that. But, understand this is so unbelievable to me that they would treat me and my kids this way. I am trying to move on. I've moved to another city to be near my kids and grand daughter. I rented a nice apartment, bought some nice clothes, etc. I'm really trying to take care of myself. Thank you.
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I considered them MY family especially since I have only a 91 year old mom and no siblings. My son had a girlfriend for 10 years that I, adored she was like a daughter for me. She is an only child and Japanese so her extended family was very remote. My children became her adopted siblings. When they broke up I was heartbroken. I miss her terribly but it would cause both of them too much pain if I included her in family gatherings so out of respect for both of their feelings I have not stayed in touch. I've moved to another city to be near my kids and grand daughter. I rented a nice apartment, bought some nice clothes, etc. I'm really trying to take care of myself. Thank you. Fabulous and well done!
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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You have to remember, I am much older than you. I have known and been close with his family for over 40 years! I've given them so much and cared for them through the years. I considered them MY family especially since I have only a 91 year old mom and no siblings. I knew my ex and his family since I was in 2nd grade. I was very close to his family too, especially his parents - I was closer to them than my ex was. However after all this unfolded exMIL posted public things on FB about how OW brought their "true son" back to them and other stuff somehow implying that I am to blame for his serial cheating. I get it, it sucks. I think for any one of us who has divorced a WS and their family throws the BS under the bus it's pretty much the same, regardless of the length of the marriage. And the advice from Dr Harley would be the same regardless too. Feel free to write to him on the radio show, maybe talking to him about how you don't understand will help you somehow.
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Susie: You are probably dead right. I can picture my in-laws feeling that they now how HIM back. He's probably kinder to them, more than ever before, because he has to be. Perhaps he is being a better son, brother, friend to them now and they like what they are getting out of it.
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It's been a year since I've been in Plan B. I wish I had advice back then...I would have exposed my Husband's affair at his workplace. The OW used to work there, but she since left and got another job. The Affair is still ongoing. If I expose it now to the workplace, my Husband will probably get fired because his affair compromised the job. I feel it is just vengeful at this point and it won't end the affair. Do you agree? Do you see any justification in exposure now? My son wants me to expose it now even though it's been so long, but I don't know if it's right or wrong.
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Yes, I'd go ahead and expose it.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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You can expose it if you want but I wouldn't bet on him getting fired. Why won't your son expose?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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My son wants me to expose it now even though it's been so long, but I don't know if it's right or wrong. Telling the truth is never wrong (unless it's national secrets, etc)
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I'm in another state now to be near my kids. When I was about to expose, my husband said that if I got her fired, he would support her....so that stopped me cold. It may still get him fired or transferred. My son can't expose it, because he doesn't know all the details and I don't want to burden him with all those horrible details. Plus, I'll have to fly down to that state and do it in person. What is the rational? What is the reason I would do this now? Is it just look like I'm a vengeful hateful ex?
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Why would you have to expose in person? If you don't want to expose then don't. You ask a question, people give you and answer and then you argue about it. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I know...I'm arguing with myself LOL
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I'm in another state now to be near my kids. When I was about to expose, my husband said that if I got her fired, he would support her....so that stopped me cold. It may still get him fired or transferred. My son can't expose it, because he doesn't know all the details and I don't want to burden him with all those horrible details. Plus, I'll have to fly down to that state and do it in person. What is the rational? What is the reason I would do this now? Is it just look like I'm a vengeful hateful ex? Just expose and then let them worry about what they think - they can decide if they want to think positively of you or negatively of you. Don't let managing your image get in the way of exposing - you are not a celebrity, and you don't have to manage your image. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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A good way to expose is to post all of the facts on Cheaterville.
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