Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Start writing things down. CArry a little notepad in your pocket and take notes. I take notes on my ipad [which you shouldn't have] for this very reason. It is an invaluable tool. This is a life organization skill which I myself still am training myself to do. My father told me the same as Melodylane posted to you: Write down notes for what needs done!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Update: I am plan A and trying to keep things pleasant with conversation, writing important things down, and earnest to help my wife with whatever she needs. Anytime she brings up how I betrayed her I acknowledge what I did and how much I hurt her was one of the worst things I could have done to her. She keeps saying that if her being pregnant didn't stop me then nothing would. I have ceased all trolling. She said that I don't act remorseful. I'm not sure how to act. Does she have any other complaints? Are you remorseful? Has she said why she thinks you aren't remorseful?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197 |
Another thing you could do David, something I have seen another poster on here do, is have an attorney draft a post nuptial agreement. I don't know the logistics of it, but from what I understood it was an agreement that if he did x, y, or z (adultery, in your case would probably include internet porn and hookups, etc) again and his wife chose to divorce, she would get EVERYTHING.
This is obviously a strong deterrent to you carrying on such a lifestyle, and is a HUGE message to your wife that you are willing to give her everything if you screw up again.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 26
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 26 |
wow a post nup is an amazing idea.
DavidInRemorse, for what little it's worth, I wish my husband were sorry for what he did wrong. He has had 2 internet scenarios, one which continues now and is why we are sleeping in two separate homes tonight for what will be the first of I have no idea how many nights or weeks or months, if not always. I hope not the latter.
The people here can be very hard on the wayward and speak from experience but I admire that you at least came here and love your wife enough to TRY to fix this. Now you need to go DO it but recognition is the first step. My prayers are with you and her as you work through changing what is a difficult behavior. I can only hope I will be so lucky with my husband who is unrepentant when I had him leave over an online emotional affair and years of secrecy *sigh*
Someone mentioned true recovery takes about two years...can they elaborate why and what a proper timeline might be (I do realize YMMV and people are different)
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
451
guests, and
46
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
