No distance got it. I replied, "I am still right here".

This isn't good enough.

I notice that on DB you did not mention exposure at all. Are you sure you did it? I think you're posting what they want to hear over there, and what you think we want to hear over here.

When people on this forum write to the CEO and HR and the VP, they don't get "no response". You're the first I'm hearing about.

If you sent an email it could have gone into their spam filters. You need to send a registered letter to all three, as we always advise people to do.

If you're not going to take exposure seriously because it is absolutely forbidden at Divorce Busters, I don't see why anybody here is going to take helping you seriously. You need to follow Dr Harley's advice, and you need to be honest about doing so, or you should just admit that you're not going to follow it. Posters can then decide what to do.

Your wife is still working with this man and has said nothing about leaving her job or wanting to get back with you - in fact, she has just said the opposite. If you want to START doing PLan A, you need to act by exposing her affair to her employers, and following up if you hear nothing from them.

If in all the time you have been here, and in all the posts people have taken time to make, giving you advice...if through all that you haven't exposed to her employers, or taken steps to ensure that they received your letter, this whole enterprise has been a gigantic waste of everyone's time.

You can get advice to do nothing on DB! You're already getting that advice, and how productive has that been?

I would be happy to forward the email to you. I will follow up with a registered letter since the was no reply.

Broken record here.

Should I offer or suggest trying to get back into the home? I almost feel this is needed, but do not want to enact control by doing so. I only hesitate because she has that court order that prevents me on the premises - which she has not mentioned even Once since our trip, and I have been there at least once per day.

Please print the text of the email here.

To Whom It May Concern:


This is regard to the Lowes store in ***EDIT***


This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.�

WW and OM are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it may also involve the inappropriate use of company resources and assets.


If you have any questions, please call me at ***EDIT***. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,
***EDIT***

When will you be sending the registered letters?

Thursday or Friday

Be prepared for backlash from your wife about the letter. She will suspect it was you that sent it.

There was no response to this:

Should I offer or suggest trying to get back into the home? I almost feel this is needed, but do not want to enact control by doing so. I only hesitate because she has that court order that prevents me on the premises - which she has not mentioned even Once since our trip, and I have been there at least once per day.

How do I "be there" without exerting control that she clearly does not want me to have?


Latest texts:
Her: Please put the electric bill in the mailbox
Me: can I just bring it to the house?
Her: put it in the mailbox please and thank you.
Me: Ok, but I would like to just hand it to you.
Her: Put in in the mailbox, I thought you were learning how to listen to me.
Me: I am, and I am not arguing. We are talking.
Me: Communication was our biggest failure.
Her You're trying to be controlling telling me what you are going to do
Her:Stop acting like we are together cause we are not.

I did not reply. I do not want to say the wrong stuff here.

Wow. That looks exactly like an exchange I had with my WW a couple of months ago.

Okay, you're arguing with her. She'd like you to drop off the electric bill, and she sees you using it as a chance to do what YOU want and force her to see you.

Instead, invite her to see you, like you would have when you were dating:

Her: Please put the electric bill in the mailbox
Me: can I just bring it to the house?
Her: put it in the mailbox please and thank you.
Me: Ok, but I would like to just hand it to you.
Her: Put in in the mailbox, I thought you were learning how to listen to me.
Me: I am, and I am not arguing. We are talking.
Me: Communication was our biggest failure.
Her You're trying to be controlling telling me what you are going to do
Her:Stop acting like we are together cause we are not.
You: Okay, Babe.
You: I'd like to see you sometime. What would you think about meeting me for dinner at _________?"
Her: Not on your life. Stop acting like we are together.
You: I love you and miss you.
End of conversation

Don't tell her you're not arguing. She feels that you are. If you are going to win her back, you're going to have to start taking her complaints seriously.

Don't contradict her!

These situations are NEVER turned around by convincing your wife or persuading her of anything. NEVER. I have never once seen it done that way, and I've seen dozens of men LOSE their wives by doing that.

There is nothing to be gained by trying to persuade your wife of anything. Don't try it!

Especially when it has to do with HER feelings or perception.

I hear you all I was arguing. I understand completely.

Is this yet another post trying to dissuade people from exposing to the workplace? Is there a virus going around that is suddenly making men come here and tell other men not to expose?

Exposure to the workplace is Dr Harley's standard advice. The requirement that the WS leave the workplace is a cast-iron rule. Dr H never wavers from that advice; ever.

Billman should not be trying to hide the fact that he sent the letter, therefore there should be nothing for his wife to "suspect". He doesn't have to tell her in advance, but if she asks, he should answer truthfully.

WSs do not like exposure. We never give advice with the expectation that they WILL like exposure. Why, then, do you feel the need to warn him to be prepared for backlash? Are you trying to put him off before he does it?

That is great advice. I'm pretty sure I contradict my WW more than I realize. I haven't really picked up on it until reading the last few posts here. I can definitely say that the times I can recognize as me contradicting her, it didn't do me any good. She called the cops on me three times!

Well, I was confused seeing that you posted workplace exposure letters yesterday and claimed to expose it at the workplace several days ago.
You did not follow the guidelines in the Exposure 101 thread.
So, have you exposed this affair properly to family and friends?
Did you contact OM family and friends?
Lastly, did you post OM on Cheaterville?