I did post on cheaterville (ID - 35193) , and have answered these questions previously in this thread. The exposure was done, and the email was done in a manner that was suggested by I believe SugarCane ,and a template from the 101.

*Update, I spoke to my wife this morning, and she was adamant that she is ending it. She actually said help me figure this out. I know she can lie through her teeth, but sometimes the body language and gestures just tell a different story. I will update when I know more.

1. She needs to write and send the No Contact letter (all approved and witnessed by you) use the template on this site
2. Change all her contact info (phone, email, all social media, etc)
3. You may have to move depending on the proximity to OM

The only question remains, she has not yet expressed a willingness to reconcile. I think she is denying or avoiding feelings that appear obvious to me. But she actually said this morning - I am not doing this for you or so we can get back together. Personally - I think she just doesn't realize how much I mean to her, but I did not contradict or argue.

She will have to leave the job before there is any point sending an NC letter. They still work together!

I think Billman's wife is under the illusion that going to work alongside OM every day, but turning her nose up at him to let him know just how despicable he is for having stayed with his wife, is "NC". I'm sure that's what she understands by NC, and I don't think Billman is being too active about removing her from that job, either.

If you look at my prior posts about how she has stated that we are not together, I do not live in the home, and my previous years of controlling behavior. I cannot force her to do anything she does not want to do. If I say " you need to get another job", she will lol in my face. You talk as if I am just wimping out. I have asked Several times, how I should behave in this situation. I cannot control her, yet I am supposed to help her do what she must decide to do in a manner that puts me in control - right where she does not want me. Help me figure this out. and damnit I will surely do it.

Maybe this will help:
I was in control all the way up until the last time we split up. I gave her control to get her back and that turned this into a power trip. She is not going to just "let go" of control without a fight. But if I fight to hard she will back up to save herself from my control.

However she has told me on more than one occasion that I make her feel week. I have told her that is not weakness, that is comfortability and caring - compassion for me and feelings you are trying to hide and fight and deny that you have for me locked away.

Tell me how I can make her break in the face of that weakness, and still trust me and allow some loss of control without seeing me as a controlling person. And I will happily crack that egg.

First: you do not say "you will need to get another job" if she hasn't even raised the possibility of reconciliation, which she hasn't.

If she starts to explore reconciliation with you, that will be the time for you to work on the "rebuilding the marriage" list that people post often on here, but which I do not have to hand.

You have asked "several times" how you should behave in this situation, and you have been told that you need to properly expose this affair to her CEO, VP and Director of Human Resources. We thought you'd already done that. It turns out that you made a halfhearted attempt to do that, and when you did not get a reply to your emails (which is NOT the method we advise for this official communication), you did nothing more. You've been told now to send registered letters to these people, and you don't plan to do that until "Thursday or Friday". You do seem to be wimping out, to me.

You can't ask your wife to send a NC letter while she still works with OM. You need to first expose the affair properly at work. Then, if at any point she begins to talk about reconciliation, you bring up the conditions that she leave the job (if they haven't already fired her) and she sends an NC letter, gives you transparency over her communications, and all the rest of it.

You need to do things in a logical order. Surely you can see that?

I do see that and I do not mean to be ... belligerent.

Sir, if she refuses to end contact with her affair partner then the affair is ongoing.
It could go on and off for years into the future. You would essentially be in an "open marriage" and the laughing object of everyone who works with your wife at her job.

She was getting ready for no contact. She asked me to help her and be there for her through it. I did all I could and let it be about her and her feelings for the past 2 days. Today she is Right back at square 1. And when I say 1, i mean Cold as ICE.

She cried and cried, and next thing I know today he talked to her and she saw him after work, and ...done - Fog

It was an extreme sudden reversion. What should I expect from this point. I believe I still have the courage for Plan A. But my heart is yelling B. I don't want to plan B, it feels wrong.

Since our trip to NY, she has given hints about why now, and what if this and what if that. But today it was straight, No way I don't want to be with you. Not a tear shed like the past 2 weeks.

Past 2 days, "I dont want to be with him, I dont want to fix this" and today "I love him"

That is going to keep happening as long as she works with him.

I still don't know what you mean by "she was getting ready for no contact", if she had never given in her notice. Working with him is not "no contact", it is daily contact. It is a continuation of the affair.

The only way for to break her addiction is to remove her from the source of that addiction, completely and permanently. Not a drop of progress will be made until she leaves that job.

You need to expose to their employers.

She has been saying the last two days that she did not want to be with him anymore, and that she does not want to "fix" it. She cannot trust him because he is cheating on her AND his wife. He said he wasn't and she fell for it - because there is no "proof" that he is cheating n her. . So stupid. But yes he saw her at work and it "hurt too much" and they met up and I cannot even explain the reversion....it was a fix plain and simple. The letters to employer will be in the mail in the morning.

***edit****
To Whom It May Concern:

This is regard to the Lowes store in ****edit****

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and OM re involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at***edit*** Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

***edit****

You really must not post identifying information here for the world to see. You need to be "streetwise' when online. You should edit this while you still have time, taking out the company information, your location and your proper name.

I am finding it harder to respond to her in a loving manner. I am not saying I do not want to, it's just getting harder.

I know, just stay focused, I think you're making good progress. On the bright side, one of the advantages for men in Plan A is that at the end it's much easier for us to walk away. We know we tried our best, and our love banks eventually empty.

Thank you PM18 when you say progress, do you say that with hope or do you say that with experience on this forum?

Also how loving should I be, I have read everything I can about Plan A - do I continue the sweet nothings even tho she laughs at them, do I send them when she says stop. do I say beautiful wife at the end of a text.

My phrase to her has been lately, I am right here.

I say it reading your thread, from where it's started to where it is now. You had a nice trip with your WW, showed you cared, are changing yourself, I see more moments of less fog for her.

Continue to do and say nice things, especially that you are there for her.

Thank you. and in Topic Options I have my thread here on the watched list but I get no emails. Did I do something incorrect?

and what about ridicule from friends and family. I am being told by all who have been supporting me that I should tough love. I don't want to and I don't believe it will work. A part of me says do it, and wants to be mad at her. But I love her, if I give up - how could I possibly be the man I say I am.

I don't understand your question.