Oh yes she will. She already did once and used hotel points. And has more hotel points to burn. She was gone one night and I couldn't stand the thought of my 6 mo old and 2 1/2 year in a hotel away from all their toys and comforts of the house so I told her to come back. But the only way she came back is if I left, which I did.

Go home! She will come back. You need to stop allowing yourself to be manipulated.

You could have just gone and picked up your kids and brought them home without all this drama.

If I were placing bets on which strategy will be most effective, between your actions and Melody's advice, I would bet my bottom dollar on Melody's advice.

Can't save a marriage if you run like a coward every time your cheating wife cries "space, space!!!" Call her bluff. She doesn't want to go live in a hotel. She just wants to manipulate you.

Be a man, not a pathetic wimp!!!
You stay in that house, demand the kids stay as well.

Pretty harsh. Have you been in this situation?

YES!! Most of us have been there, done that. GO HOME!!

It will get much harder if you don't stop running away.

When are you going home?

Yes i was in this same situation, my ex demanded that i move out. She told me to be a man and move out, and a bunch of other wayward crap.
I told her no way, she wants to have an affair she can leave. I also remained in the marital bed, she slept in the office for 9 months.
Every attorney worth their salt will tell you not to leave unless you are court ordered.

Get a VAR and have it with you from now on. Waywards in an affair fog are dangerous and crazy.

Keep your children in the home. Hire help while you work. Stop being reactionary. Your wife is the one with poor boundaries around opposite sex not you or your children. Marriage therapist will listen to your wife's fog babble like it's real and you need to cater to it. They'll have you run here and there because you didn't do enough to make your wife happy. Ignored her while you worked or whatever. Sure this might be true but makes no sense focusing on your old life style when your wife is in the middle of the cruelest act towards another. If you are suckered so easily she'll cry foul over and over. This is totally nonsensical. We do know what you are dealing with. Your adding unnecessary drama and getting in your own way big time.

I suggest calling Steve Harley in the coaching center for help.

Why are men today such an embarrassment to their fathers and grandfathers? What happened to strong men?

He won't need to hire any help because the leaving thing is a RUSE to get him out. When she sees him holding his ground, she will come home with the kids.

I don't understand this. Who raised these boys to be so timid?

Exactly. She knows she can use the "I'm taking the kids and leaving so you better leave" game because he has done it and keeps doing it. He helps facilitate his WW's affair. She also uses those kids.

Peter,

Absent a court order, you have just as much legal rights to keeping the children at home with you, just like she does.

You are being set up. Each and every time YOU leave the home, it can be proven that YOU are the parent who abandoned the home and family.

You are acting in fear of tempory conflict, yet creating a bigger hurdle to overcome in the months to follow.

Just see how her version of these events gets tearfully spoken to the courts some day. "Boo Hoo, your Honor. Every time he gets mad, he just picks up and walks out on me and his children. He has left me trying to comfort their crying hearts, sobbing about what made their Daddy leave this time. Well, your Honor, I've tried everything but just can't keep it up any longer. I don't want this abusive man to ever have the chance to hurt me and my children again. Please, please help us."

That sounds pretty convincing if you keep following the path of least resistance that you have succumbed to so far.

LTL

yep. Judges do not look kindly on men who abandon their families!!

I'm back home and not leaving again. She originally said "come back Wednesday for Xmas Eve and Xmas Day" with no promises after that. But I'm not waiting.

Really taking everyone's comments to heart but keep in mind every situation is different. She actually opened the door slightly to the thought of me coming home today during our counseling session this morning. As I was already conflicted about coming home or staying away, I jumped on it. We set down some basic rules around the house and if she starts to feel insecure, we'll talk about what needs changing before she up and threatens to leave.

Keep in mind that you don't know what you are doing and we do. We have been through this thousands of times and you have not. We cannot help you if you won't follow the advice. Keep in mind that your best thinking got you to this terrible place.

You don't need and never needed your wife's "permission" to live in your own home. Leaving was a stupid, strategic mistake that could get you into legal trouble. Judges frown on men who abandon their families. And obviously, you can't save a marriage if you are running from the problem.