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Joined: Dec 2014
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No icon can express how I feel right now.
Here is how I hurt the only person that I loved. She trusted me with all her heart thinking that I am different and pure and will never lie and betray her. But only to find out 1 week before our wedding that I am not who she hopes I am. I met my now wife when we were 20. We were together for about a yr then we broker up and moved back to LA. In the 12 years, I reach out to her sometimes to see how she is doing and have short conversations. My last ex and I broker up about 3 months before I contacted my wife again. But at that time, I was also dating another person for 2 weeks. She was in LA. Over the phone for a month before she comes visit me, we will talk about being in a relationship together and getting married. 2 weeks after my relationship with my wife. I had sex with the other person one more time before I ended it. It was foolish of me not waiting 2 weeks for my physical needs. I am hoping that my wife will stay and forgive me. 2 weeks later my wife came from LA to Houston to see me. Over the course of 6 months apart from my wife, we got married 6 months after. She found some of this information a week before we got married. I also made 2 mistakes with my ex. One, I went to her son�s birthday party about 3 weeks after I started talking to her and nothing happened there b/c we know there is nothing more between us. Two, she called me to Congrat me on my wedding and she called me one more time asking if I added her facebook account. I still had unresolved feeling before I talked to my ex. In 6 years, we were on and off. I will feel bad and then go back to her. I was finally about to resolve and let it go knowing that she moved on already from the phone conversation. We found out that she is pregnant for 3 weeks with our first and now my wife just packed. I helped her carry her bags to the car. Our wedding was in June 2014. Today is 12/19/2014. She just moved here from LA in April. She has no family and friends here. The pain and guilt I am feeling right now can't be describe....

Last edited by Sinner; 12/19/14 08:20 PM.
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Welcome to MB.

Did you have sex with someone else while you were married or before you were married?

When was the last time you had contact with someone of the opposite sex?

Who is pregnant? Your wife? Or your girlfriend?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by Sinner
No icon can express how I feel right now.
Here is how I hurt the only person that I loved. She trusted me with all her heart thinking that I am different and pure and will never lie and betray her. But only to find out 1 week before our wedding that I am not who she hopes I am. I met my now wife when we were 20. We were together for about a yr then we broker up and moved back to LA. In the 12 years, I reach out to her sometimes to see how she is doing and have short conversations. My last ex and I broker up about 3 months before I contacted my wife again. But at that time, I was also dating another person for 2 weeks. She was in LA. Over the phone for a month before she comes visit me, we will talk about being in a relationship together and getting married. 2 weeks after my relationship with my wife. I had sex with the other person one more time before I ended it. It was foolish of me not waiting 2 weeks for my physical needs. I am hoping that my wife will stay and forgive me. 2 weeks later my wife came from LA to Houston to see me. Over the course of 6 months apart from my wife, we got married 6 months after. She found some of this information a week before we got married. I also made 2 mistakes with my ex. One, I went to her son�s birthday party about 3 weeks after I started talking to her and nothing happened there b/c we know there is nothing more between us. Two, she called me to Congrat me on my wedding and she called me one more time asking if I added her facebook account. I still had unresolved feeling before I talked to my ex. In 6 years, we were on and off. I will feel bad and then go back to her. I was finally about to resolve and let it go knowing that she moved on already from the phone conversation. We found out that she is pregnant for 3 weeks with our first and now my wife just packed. I helped her carry her bags to the car. Our wedding was in June 2014. Today is 12/19/2014. She just moved here from LA in April. She has no family and friends here. The pain and guilt I am feeling right now can't be describe....
Your girlfriend is pregnant, and your wife has left you?

Good for her. Stay out of her life from this day on. Consider marrying your girlfriend and being a proper father to your child.

Is there anything else we can help you with?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Dec 2014
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Welcome to MB.

Did you have sex with someone else while you were married or before you were married? I had sex with someone else 2 weeks after we started talking again but in the beginning, my wife and I already talked as if we are in a relationship and talking about marriage plan.

When was the last time you had contact with someone of the opposite sex? the person above which is last sept.

Who is pregnant? Your wife? Or your girlfriend? my wife is pregnant.
_________________________

Your girlfriend is pregnant, and your wife has left you? my wife is pregnant not that other girl and my wife is planning to leave me.

Good for her. Stay out of her life from this day on. Consider marrying your girlfriend and being a proper father to your child.

Is there anything else we can help you with?

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i answered both in a Q&A format. She said she needs space. I get scared that she will leave and never come back.
thanks for listening to me.

Last edited by Sinner; 12/20/14 01:57 AM.
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So to clarify you didn't cheat on your wife while married.
this all happened before marriage.
Right?

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My advice would be to read the book Buyers Renters and Freeloaders.
Watch the videos on this website (I will post links to them) and tell your wife thAt you want to create a loving romantic marriage with her.
I think you will be able to win her back, unless she is having an affair.

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Yes all this was before the marriage but she didn't find out until a week before getting married and I hide and lie from her while I cheated.

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I hope so. I love her very much.she said that she has a set of standard and she can never forgive for what I did. I have tried. We talked and talked but maybe space will help but mayb it won't. I will watch the video. She has been trying to forgiven me since she found out. She said she feels very tired and she felt that the pressure and the worries are lifted after telling me it is over. On one hand, I want her to be with me and work but on the other, I see that she is hurt, sad and tired I feel hurt as well. But I believe that we have a future. I will never ever do anything to hurt her but It is hard to gain back the trust and love once I betrayed her.

Last edited by Sinner; 12/20/14 07:19 AM.
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She said that we can still be friends b/c as a boyfriend or husband I still cheated on her. I watched the videos. They are great if there are no problems like mine in the beginning of the married. She ant forgive what I have done and trust me again. She said maybe or maybe not in the future but she is so tired. She wants her life back and be alone.

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I think I cheated, lie and betray before my marriage and she can never trust me again. Because there is no before or after, there is only it happened or it didn't happened. She was 100% percent for me and I wasn't 100% for her. And my last ex still live with her husband with her son but no longer together. She said that I broke up the family and I have these standards that doesn't meet her standards. I don't realized how messed up my relationship truly was. Now I do and I changed but it is too late. I broke her heart and scar it do deep. What have I done to my love. Feeling guilty and regret doesn't even change anything. It doesn't change that I did what I did and I can't get her to trust me again.

Last edited by Sinner; 12/20/14 08:09 AM.
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Tell your BW that you found a great marriage resource. Tell her about MB and that you want to do a phone counseling session with one of the Harley's. They are highly respected.

Even if you can't get her to do the session with you offer for her to do one alone. At the minimum do this by yourself. They can help you get a strategy to help save your marriage.

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Please read. Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders

Have you shown her MB?

Will she come here and post?

You need to prove to her you will affair proof your marriage.

Have you changed all contact information so your ex has no way of getting a hold of you?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




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