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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2 |
1) We dated for 4 months, got to know each other over the course of a year 2) We're teens (under 18) 3) His reason for dumping me was that he just wasn't ready for a relationship, but he said that we could still be friends 4) He seemed VERY INTO ME until one week prior to the break up, when he was a little less physically affectionate and didn't see me quite as often (but that could be because of parental intervention--see 9). 5) Up until MINUTES before the break up he texted me ALL throughout the day (as he always did after we started dating) asking about my opinions, interests, what I was up to, giving me updates about his life, saying good night, etc. 6) I was recovering from surgery... so maybe he just texted all the time because he felt bad for me? We discussed many other things beyond how I was recovering though 7) He bought me flowers about a week before the break up due to my injury 8) He always kept up with doing me little favors/being a gentleman 9) One of his parents (who he is VERY close to/who he allows to control nearly his ENTIRE life) made it clear they did not like him dating. They wouldn't allow us to be completely alone together. 10) He is very passive (conflict avoider) and aims to please his parents first and foremost 11) I was his first gf. As far as I know he hasn't dated in the months since. 12) I said I couldn't be friends for a while because I didn't trust him. He sent the last text saying he was sorry, and neither one of us has initiated contact since. 13) After, he didn't help me with my injury, but acted like a polite stranger up until last month. Now, he acts like I don't exist. 14) I've actively avoided him, making sure he was uninvited from a gathering of mutual friends. 15) When people ask his best friend what happened, the friend says it just "kind of faded"/"ran its course" 16) Due to mutual religious beliefs, we weren't sexual
Why do you think he broke up with me? You can vote A (he got bored with me), B (he wasn't ready for a relationship), or C (his parent made him end it). Thank you so much!!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I choose option D: ask him since he is the only person who knows. Obviously, we are the wrong people to ask because we would not know the answer.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527 Likes: 9
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527 Likes: 9 |
I choose option D also.
May I ask how it would help you to know what a bunch of strangers on the Internet think his reasons were? Do you seriously think this can be of help to you? If so, how?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1 |
Dr. Harley recommends that single people date at least 30 different people to get a sense of what they like in the opposite sex. You are under 18 years of age, so you will have several, perhaps many, romantic relationships until you marry the one you decide is the best for you. I strongly recommend you read the book "Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders," by Dr. Harley. The book explains what a person should be looking for in a good marriage partner and how relationships work in general. Here's a good thread on the subject in the meantime -- Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders Thread You are wise, very wise indeed, to avoid getting involved sexually with anyone other than the man you marry. I'm sure you will hear, and have heard, that it's not realistic to avoid sex outside of marriage, but it certainly is possible and will help you think much more clearly about the relationship, not to mention that you will also avoid a worse heartbreak, possible diseases, and unwanted pregnancy. Try listening the MB radio show, too, to get some insight. The Harleys discuss their dating relationship frequently on the show. Joyce often broke up with Dr. Harley and they each dated many others. They were teens when they met and young when they married and have been in love with each other ever since.
Married 1980 DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
I just want to mention your (numerous) complaints about his parents - you are both teens. It is respectful that he takes his parent's opinions seriously. Your comments might have been the catalyst to him realizing this wasn't going to be worth continuing. Mutual values are critical to the free dating period.
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2 |
^Do you think that was the primary cause of the breakup?
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
No idea.
You guys are teenagers, relationships fall apart for no reason or 100 reasons.
I know easier said than done, bit it isn't worth worrying about.
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