I did also mention to them (probably a mistake on my part) that this OM had hit their Mam and he is a nasty piece of work. I asked them if they ever came into contact with him they were to be very careful. This man has assaulted my wife once that I am aware of and I genuinely feared for their safety.

. Meanwhile her animosity gets worse with every email. I

So she pawns your kids off to relatives all the time? What happens when you offer to take the children?

One good thing you have going for you is that the married OM has dumped her. Do the best Plan A whenever the opportunity arises. Are you dragging the divorce out as long as you can?

You should require that your attorney seek Right Of 1st Refusal, for any time she is not personally taking care of your children.

Get it done.

LTL

^^^^Yes this. Also have you talked to the OM's BW to verify if they are remaining NC?

Are you capable of and would you like custody of your children when your wife makes alternative plans that presumes someone else will be watching them and taking care of them?

If Yes, then get that ordered by the courts through your attorney.

WHY OH WHY do so many men shrivel at the prospect of a false harassment charge being filed against them??

For what reason?

Has the OM's BW personally told you, either by herself or through her attorney that you are not allowed to contact her with information about the affair he is involved in with your WW?

Is stating a truthful fact harassment?

LTL

Here in the UK it is very easy to find yourself in trouble with new harassment laws.
.

We think that the police do need to be satisfied at the very least that if the complaint were true and were repeated, that those acts would amount to harassment. If the police did not reasonably believe this, then the issuing of a harassment warning might well be challengeable by way of judicial review, as an irrational act. Any challenge would need to be brought promptly and in any event no later than three months of the date of the harassment warning.

What is upsetting is that there is no procedure for appealing against the making of a harassment warning and for many, this can feel highly unfair. The person who is sent the warning can often feel as though they are being prosecuted, especially when they have had no opportunity to present their side of the story. It is of course always open to individuals who feel that they have been unfairly treated by the police to lodge a formal complaint (in the first instance to the police force that issued the warning and by appeal thereafter to the Independent Police Complaints Commission, IPCC).

So surely, if this police force is handing out these notices like candy, you can simply go get one preventing OM from talking to WW.

Simples!

LTL

DD you said that OMW 'rejected' your exposure letters early in your thread but that you were 'sure' she got them - how? How can you be so sure it wasn't intercepted by OM?

See bringing a harassment warning onto you would make no sense if you HAD hit the mark and his wife already knew. What's more likely is that you were CLOSE but MISSED. That's what the harassment warning is supposed to prevent.


I am nearly positive that the letters got through as I sent them far and wide and his anger was portrayed out with his calls to my WW and in return to me.

He is trying to protect his professional reputation. Until the divorce has gone through I am staying quiet but will go after him through his professional body when the financials and everything is done. I want to keep a lid on things for now.



I would really get yourself a different lawyer on this because yours sounds pretty lazy. It isn't at all easy to slap harassment laws onto people. It's easy to advise your client to 'just do nothing' though - I would interview a few other lawyers as to the truth of his advice here.

Were you given any guidance according to the warning just WHAT actions you did that consituted harassment?

As it was brought by your wife - what does it have to do with OMW? Your wife can ask you to stop getting in touch with her - or say an repeated and upsetting course of action towards her is harassment - but she can't scream harassment and prevent you speaking from any other woman she dislikes you talking to.

What's particularly concerning is that you and OMW should be on the same side, passing intelligence to each other. That is none of your WW's business and she should not even know about it - much less use it against you legally (preventing two people from making truthful and factual statements about the gravest concern in their life privately to each other is NOT what the Harassment Act 1997 is for and the police claiming that it is makes a farce of UK law).

How do you know OMW was really exposed to and what was her reaction?

In theory you are probably not far from this farce that is the harassment act but for now I'm keeping quiet. I think that given my WW behaviour and communication with me is hostile, that the affair is dying or getting there. Very hostile and most upset with me. Waiting and hoping ��

What typically happens when OM is a serial cheat or abusive is that he monitors his wife's mail.

Unless the BH makes an effort to actually speak to the BW, she usually never hears of exposure. When OM sees the attempted exposure he calls his minion/mistress and tells her she better make sure her husband doesn't try this again or he'll he'll dump her.

The WW then ALWAYS falsely claims that the BW was exposed to, but doesn't care etc.

That is what always happens when exposure fails. Seen it loads of times. It's not difficult to sign for a registered letter as your wife.

Or to simply take it off her if she is a battered wife.

Harassment means you can't approach the same person repeatedly if they've asked you to desist. But OMW has never done that has she?

Does this harassment order prevent you from speaking to OMBW? What behaviour does it actually state as being unacceptable?

Waiting for your divorce financial settlement is a schoolboy error. All your targets should have been hit in 24 hours.

Your financial settlement is devised by the courts. They don't give a hoot about OM and you must be crazy if you expect any kind of deal fRom your wife. She isn't going to reward you for keeping quiet. She expects that and the moon too.