She needs to get her anger under control.

Have you listened to these clips? Will she get help for her anger?
Anger Management 101

You'll never recover without this step. By assuming this would be a lifetime issue you make it one and sentence her to a lifetime of secrecy and shame.

I agree about the drinking and partying. Those are conditions which make everyone stupid. It's only for people without responsibilities like marriage.

And Dr. Harley states that all conditions that allowed the affair must be changed. So she needs to quit drinking.

I was particularly apprehensive about exposing to my family as I thought a) definitely lifetime grudge and b) probable violence from my very protective dad. I still don't understand how he never got an [censored] kicking from my father!

I was surprised at the wonderful and rather sensible reaction from all - their reaction was close to mine. They wanted us to stay together but also see reassurances. Except for my dad.

My father gave me money to go buy garbage bags for his stuff and said he would never lay eyes on him again. He was very upset that I was considering recovery - my spouse was unremorseful at this stage to boot.

I just rode out the storm reiterating that I had high standards and that I would secure my future.

My exWH never did come round but my father did. He believes utterly in MB and feels if xWH had followed the checklist he would have become a SIL to be proud of.

I got my father to come round to the MB plan even with a totally unremorseful spouse!

Don't deprive your wife of the chance to prove herself and move on honestly and honourably. Don't keep her stalled. Don't decide she is nothing more than a skeleton in a closet.

Do you think she doesn't have it in her to inspire faith? One of the reasons your faith is shaky is because you are doing this alone without support!

Maybe, like my ex, she doesn't have it in her. That's why exposure is such an important test. She's a big girl and it's in her capabilities to be remorseful and demonstrate change.