Regarding exposure-

When I caught WH and the OW leaving the hotel room, OW's brother (who just so happens to be my best friend's husband) had told me that he had filled in his parents on what was going on and that they were very angry.

When I got home that day, I had also sent out a Facebook message to them letting them know what I knew, my proof, and what I was hoping to accomplish by telling them (that they would use their influence over their daughter to get her to cease contact).

Fast forward three weeks and neither parent had ever read the message.

Until yesterday. Her dad finally did. And all hell broke loose.

I received a phone call from WH at 4 in the AM. I should have checked the caller ID before answering, but in my state of exhaustion I answered out of habit. He confused me because although he was questioning my motives in contacting her dad, he wasn't speaking to me angrily. I told him I had sent that message three weeks ago, when I caught them, and he just now read it. That I had sent it when I told everybody about their A. He asked that I leave her family out of it and said "Your problem is with me, so please bring your issues to me". Again, I was taken aback at how gentle he was speaking to me. I expected some angry insults.

Moving on to my big mistake.

I ended up texting the OW yesterday morning. I don't know why. I've been standing tall for weeks now, but yesterday I reached a breaking point. I couldn't stop the tears and I guess I just misdirected my anger.

I let her know just how much she has destroyed my family, how my kids are suffering, how my unborn baby will never have the chance to know her father, how WH's family thinks she is an immoral woman and want absolutely nothing to do with her. How I would make sure she never got a job using her degree (marriage/family counseling), etc.

I know I shouldn't have sent it. I should have went on as if she isn't a factor in my life. I acknowledge my mistake and won't make the same one again. I know that she owes me no loyalty and I should be angrier at WH than her. It's just that my anger with him is mixed in with my love for him, so it's more grief directed towards him as opposed to sheer anger (that I feel for her). I also understand that she knows full well what she was doing, and she doesn't care, so my text to her was pointless.

Anyways- she forwarded it to WH and he got angry. He called me and went off on me. How I'm trying to ruin this for him and do I really expect him to come crawling back to me even if I succeed in ruining their relationship? How he didn't leave me for her (ha-ha).. he was going to leave anyways, blah, blah. I ended up hanging up on him (mature, I know).

And, because I'm a glutton for punishment and apparently enjoy making my own life even harder, I allowed him to come over to see the kids last night after he got off of work. We got along and played together with the kids until it was time for him to leave. He tried to bring up the conversation regarding OW and asking me to direct all of my anger towards him, not her. I said that they both destroyed my life so why should I have any compassion for her? He said that she worked her @-- off for 6 years in school to get her degree and that it was childish of me to try to ruin her career. I simply replied that I owed her no favors. Then he threatened me financially. That if I didn't leave her alone, that if I didn't back off of my "mission to ruin her life", that he would "only give me the 30% that he would legally owe me financially" (as opposed to paying 100% of the bills as he has been since he left in January).

He knows that's my weak point. I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant, about to give birth at any time. He knows there is no way I can get a job any time soon, and that even when I do, I won't be worth much. He knows it will be a struggle for me to pay for everything on my own, even with his 30%. Basically he is trying to manipulate me. He told me that I can let this go and he will continue to support me fully (yeah, right.. until OW demands more $ from him) or I can "be childish" and he'll just give me what he legally owes.

I know that he cannot do that until the divorce is finalized, but it still scares me.

I feel like I royally messed up yesterday and now I don't know what to do. Obviously I'm going back into Plan B, but I feel like that's not enough.

Oh, I meant to add- I figured out her place of work. I reported to HR over a week ago, did a follow up earlier this week and was merely told that since she was not currently using her degree in their place of employment, nor was the "other man" an employee, there was nothing they could or would do.

I feel like a full exposure strengthened their affair if anything.