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Originally Posted by Lou519 on DB today
Yes, I do have an impulse control problem. Porn, angry outbursts (though rare), pursuit during DB, bad food choices. Yep

Turning to a bad support group triggered it, though
You'd better learn how to get that impulse control problem solved before you pursue any other relationships. You'd also benefit from learning NOT to blame others for your stupid behaviour. Nobody made you send those angry texts last night but you.

We in this "bad support group" at MB have been trying to get you to think strategically and act rationally, with a plan, since you got here. We tried to get you to bust up the affair so you wouldn't be getting divorced. Dr Harley warned you that if you sold your house the marriage would effectively be over. You didn't listen to our "bad support group" advice, though, and now here you are.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by Lou on DB 2/27/15
WAW is meeting with a L to start the D process tomorrow. We are still amicable. Unless she throws a curveball, there will be no arguing over assets or D2. We've already split what little assets we had, and we both agree to 50/50 custody with a flexible schedule on which we plan and agree ourselves. Hopefully there are no surprises. I'm woefully uninformed about this process, so I'm going to do some reading. I'm in KY, in case anyone has some specific helpful info.
_________________________
Me 29
WAW 30
D 2
T 10 years
M 7 years
BD 6/3/14
S 7/26/14
PA June-Dec. '14
She filed 2/27/15

Just noticed this today...didn't take long.

As predicted, Lou's wife has apparently filed for divorce.

Guess the thread title says it all....YOU WERE ALL RIGHT X2

Should have utilized MB. No guarantees but he completely missed his best chance at saving his marriage and family.

His poor 2 year old child will suffer the consequences of Lou's lack of discernment and have to live with a wayward at least 50% of her life. I say "at least" because DB encourages adultery as a way to cope with betrayal so it's likely not long before Lou is on wayward train too and their child can then have 2 wayward parents.







FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Dr. Bill Harley:

"it's hard to save a marriage when you are an enabler....."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Not coming back here is fine. DB can help guide you through the divorce process. It's what they are exceptionally experienced at.

THIS is what I told Lou just a few posts ago. He's actually in the best place for divorce SUPPORT now.



I'll probably leave this alone now but before Lou or someone else comes back 6 months or a year from now saying "Oh, lou's wife dropped the divorce and they are recovering NOW" I want to say....MB would have got him to that position in 2014 and saved Lou and his daughter months....even years of agony.

Divorce itself isn't "failure" on MB....but not standing up adultery and enabling continued adultery by your wife IS failure. It's like you didn't even try. You were paralyzed by fear when you took the advice of a bunch of wayward and wayward enablers on another forum over Dr. Harley's advice.


Originally Posted by markos 6/26/2014
Originally Posted by Lou519 6/26/2014
Going completely without contact with that guy right now is almost not an option, at least form her perspective. He is in her group, a group which she must be a part of through Decemeber in order to graduate. If she doesn't graduate, she will lose her job, which is a very good one for us (good pay, low & flexible hours). They gave her a promotion with the expectation that she would complete this degree. They are also paying $40,000 for it.

All of that makes it really difficult to have no contact with him, and that is considering the fact that she is not on board with trying to fix things right now. Considering that, there's no way contact will stop completely with him right now.

So she will keep you around to take care of her until she finishes her high paying degree and then she can take off for greener pastures with her MBA contacts. Sweet deal for her.


Marcos called this. She finished school in December, told Lou that about her affair and that OM dumped her the end of December and now she's ready to move on with her career and degree without LOU. Now the stay at home dad is graciously being given 50% custody.


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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I remember this.

Lou was perfectly happy being confrontational to posters here because there were no consequences.

He couldn't make a stand to WW though. He was unwilling to face real consequences of standing up against her.

Men, take heed - this is exactly what happens when you act cowardly. NO family can be saved when you are too scared to stand up for it. Women do not respect cowards - ever.

Look at wifedivorcings thread to see what happens when a man finds his balls and stands up for the family.

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