|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536 Likes: 9
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536 Likes: 9 |
Re OM I've searched extensively...only had his first name...email addy...mob ph...town...
Found nothing so far. this was at the end of March. Did you ever find his contact details? How did you get in touch with his wife? What did you mean about her state of mind, in your post earlier today?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 26
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 26 |
understood Sugarcane.
Back in march i discovered this site, and learned of the EXPOSURE etc. But like i stated so many lil instances had already been confronted...was a bit messy.
When exposed (my family in Australia...wifes in US) my family was useless...didnt know how to respond.
Her family said the lies were dissapointing but didnt put any pressure on her.
Told our church pastors...we had meeting...they believed her and denied all my evidence.
Told our friends...divided...no help.
Told our kids (13&14yr old boys) and they freaked out...told her she was being ungrateful for the love i was showing etc etc as best kids could.
Have now told OM wife...OM boss...OM family...all have believed OM and blocked me from further communication...but the OM i firmly believe is out of the picture.
Somewhere...my wife seems to believe that her actions are justified until i get my act together fulfilling her emotional needs.
My wife is openly contact the "swingers" site.
I dont have any software tracking her ph...she rarely lets out of her site.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
oh, i neglected to ask...for example...behaviours leading the the affair in the first place...eg...online chatting/making self available for chatting on an online adult site...
My wife initially met OM via swingersheaven.com (we are NOT swingers). I had initially asked her to delete her account and cut chatting with OM...both she and OM agreed but continued to do so out of sight.
Now, she has been in brief chat with a number of other "swingers" local to our area.
At this point of affair recovery, I feel it is completely calous for her to even log into this site considering. The site members use KIK for comms, which i assume my wife has now also downloaded...havent asked.
I dont want to block the withdrawl from OM...or engage in LoveBusters...but how do I address this?...
Considering moving out until she can commit to marriage.
seems hopeless. Sorry, but it is hopeless. If you can't change the conditions that led to an affair, you will obviously be subjected to more affairs. Your wife is actively trolling for opportunities to give out some nookie to creeps on the internet. I would strongly urge you to prepare to separate and go into Plan B. Have you been tested for STDs? She is subjecting you to very dangerous diseases given her loose and promiscuous lifestyle. Do you think she brings men into your home to give out sex?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
hi,
am only 11days from Dday where my wife confessed everything i had suspected for last 4 months.
In detail she has informed me of her activities etc of affair...and shown me that she is done with OM.
I have been very...very patient...with her and her need to talk as she enters withdrawl.
However, she has not expressed apology/remorse for what she has done to our marriage.
And to boot, she has somewhat continued with her profile in an online adult "swingers" site, contacting local OM. To date has been only random comments.
With being in withdrawl so early, how do I approach this, while not wanting to LOVEBUST.??? I would approach it by shutting off the internet so she can no longer pursue sex with dirtbags on the internet. Your wife is a dangerous person to be soliciting sex on the internet. Do your children know she is doing this? Or is she free to bring these creeps into your home while you are work? You are not safe with her trolling for action on the internet from your home so that is where I would begin. I would also contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are. Do not have sex with her!! There is no telling what diseases she carries.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 26
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 26 |
Part of her disclosure was the admittance she and OM did NOT use protected sex.
She contracted vaginosis...raising my suspicions further back in May.
She has been tested...as have I.
She doesnt bring men to our home.
I know she has blankets etc in her vehicle...large suv...for no reason we have made use of yet...and she did make a habit with OM meeting in reststops etc.
Im looking at PlanB.
However i just read on forum that Men shouldnt leave the home?
confused.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Part of her disclosure was the admittance she and OM did NOT use protected sex.
She contracted vaginosis...raising my suspicions further back in May.
She has been tested...as have I.
She doesnt bring men to our home.
I know she has blankets etc in her vehicle...large suv...for no reason we have made use of yet...and she did make a habit with OM meeting in reststops etc.
Im looking at PlanB.
However i just read on forum that Men shouldnt leave the home?
confused. Yes you are confused because you don't pay attention. And yes, she can bring men into your home and screw them there too. Nothing is going to stop her. You already know she screws strangers at road side reststops. Surely you don't believe she has anything against bringing dirtbags into your home? However i just read on forum that Men shouldnt leave the home? You took that out of context. *I* wrote that article.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Part of her disclosure was the admittance she and OM did NOT use protected sex.
She contracted vaginosis...raising my suspicions further back in May.
She has been tested...as have I. Vaginosis is an STD. You should not be having sex with her AT ALL.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
hi,
am only 11days from Dday where my wife confessed everything i had suspected for last 4 months.
In detail she has informed me of her activities etc of affair...and shown me that she is done with OM.
I have been very...very patient...with her and her need to talk as she enters withdrawl.
However, she has not expressed apology/remorse for what she has done to our marriage.
And to boot, she has somewhat continued with her profile in an online adult "swingers" site, contacting local OM. To date has been only random comments.
With being in withdrawl so early, how do I approach this, while not wanting to LOVEBUST.???  What in the hell? You post asking how not to lovebust while your wife is trolling for MORE ACTION on swinger websites? I AM SPEECHLESS!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536 Likes: 9
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536 Likes: 9 |
Part of her disclosure was the admittance she and OM did NOT use protected sex.
She contracted vaginosis...raising my suspicions further back in May. She's having unprotected sex with strangers. She is not ashamed to tell you that she did that with OM, or that she is contacting swingers online today. She is a danger to you and the kids, and you need to get yourselves out of harm's reach. You need to take your boys and move. Why wouldn't your pastor believe you? Is this one of those churches that covers up sexual misconduct among its clergy? You should ask them that outright. I do hope you're not still a member of that church. And what about her parents? Are you seriously telling me they didn't care that she was risking their grandsons' future by having an affair? Didn't they try to talk to her at all? Would they try to talk to her this time, about swinging? Expose her trolling to friends and family, and make arrangements to move out with your kids. Do not leave your kids in her care. She is reckless.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842 |
Bacterial vaginosis isn't an STD but she probably thinks it is.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Bacterial vaginosis isn't an STD but she probably thinks it is. Thanks for the correction, apples. It was listed on "STD FACTS - Bacterial Vaginosis" so I assumed it was an STD. here What it said was this: "Any woman can get bacterial vaginosis. Having bacterial vaginosis can increase your chance of getting an STD."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
If they don't have STDs now, it will be a miracle. If she doesn't have one yet, she will soon enough.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842 |
No doubt. About 25% of adults in the US have an STD.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
1,099
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
