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Yep that's correct. He got her so he wouldn't feel lonely.
I know I have a lot of guilt over what I did and blame myself for everything that has happened.
I know I played a part in the beginning but not the ending. I would encourage you to stop posting about stuff like this. You are past this now.
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How are you eating?
How are you sleeping?
Are you exercising daily?
What do you do for fun regularly?
What types of goals do you have for yourself? Can you post specific answers to questions like these on a regular basis - update us on the progress you are making? I personally use a bullet journal (check it out on Youtube) and have a list of things to do every single day.
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I don't know how to let go. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. You aren't alone, though. You have two children that need you to pull yourself together and be a good role model for them. Especially your son who has a wayward father. That alone makes it easy, for me. Make your kids your priority, set a lot of good goals for yourself that have nothing to do with ex WH, and the rest of it will fall into place. I posted on another thread about reaching out to Dr Harley about an issue regarding DD19. RS, Dr Harley told me that most people he talks to in the end stages of their life regret not having a better relationship with their kids. Not making more money or having traveled more, etc. Start focusing on making life awesome for your kids, will be a good start for you to move forward and letting the old part of your life go.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
How are you eating?
How are you sleeping?
Are you exercising daily?
What do you do for fun regularly?
What types of goals do you have for yourself? Can you post specific answers to questions like these on a regular basis - update us on the progress you are making? I personally use a bullet journal (check it out on Youtube) and have a list of things to do every single day. We can make this fun and other Plan B/Ders can post to you about what they are doing too, if you'd like 
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I don't know how to let go. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. You aren't alone, though. You have two children that need you to pull yourself together and be a good role model for them. Especially your son who has a wayward father. That alone makes it easy, for me. Make your kids your priority, set a lot of good goals for yourself that have nothing to do with ex WH, and the rest of it will fall into place. Good advice Susie thanks. I do pull myself together for my son and he doesn't see me sad anymore. I give him so much love and attention and quality time together. We're each others rocks and very close. He feels very secure with me.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
How are you eating?
How are you sleeping?
Are you exercising daily?
What do you do for fun regularly?
What types of goals do you have for yourself? Can you post specific answers to questions like these on a regular basis - update us on the progress you are making? I personally use a bullet journal (check it out on Youtube) and have a list of things to do every single day. How are you eating?
How are you sleeping?
Are you exercising daily?
What do you do for fun regularly?
What types of goals do you have for yourself? Can you post specific answers to questions like these on a regular basis - update us on the progress you are making? I personally use a bullet journal (check it out on Youtube) and have a list of things to do every single day. We can make this fun and other Plan B/Ders can post to you about what they are doing too, if you'd like I'm always happy to hear from other Plan B'ers on how they cope and what they do.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I don't know how to let go. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. You aren't alone, though. You have two children that need you to pull yourself together and be a good role model for them. Especially your son who has a wayward father. That alone makes it easy, for me. Make your kids your priority, set a lot of good goals for yourself that have nothing to do with ex WH, and the rest of it will fall into place. I posted on another thread about reaching out to Dr Harley about an issue regarding DD19. RS, Dr Harley told me that most people he talks to in the end stages of their life regret not having a better relationship with their kids. Not making more money or having traveled more, etc. Start focusing on making life awesome for your kids, will be a good start for you to move forward and letting the old part of your life go. I do focus on my relationship with my son and it's very close. I should focus that on my DD too and get the closeness back with her. It's getting better but not as close as I'd like. We had a tough time for a while and she's very headstrong. I'll have to think of more ways I can spend time with her. She's very caught up in her life and boys etc. She did babysit my son last week which was nice.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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I don't know how to let go. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. You aren't alone, though. You have two children that need you to pull yourself together and be a good role model for them. Especially your son who has a wayward father. That alone makes it easy, for me. Make your kids your priority, set a lot of good goals for yourself that have nothing to do with ex WH, and the rest of it will fall into place. Good advice Susie thanks. I do pull myself together for my son and he doesn't see me sad anymore. I give him so much love and attention and quality time together. We're each others rocks and very close. He feels very secure with me. That's great. But I don't doubt for one second that your children are aware of the fact that you have been depressed and hoping for ex-WH to come back. This isn't good for them. If you continue to feel this way, I would also recommend ADs. But if you exercise daily, there is a good chance you won't need them.
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Yeah DS has probably noticed but he sees me more of a fun mum now which is great. I highly doubt DD notices she's so wrapped up in her own world. She's not the kind of person who ever asks if I'm okay or what's wrong. Bit sad really. I know if something bad happenned to me she would be upset but she doesn't really seem to care about my life. I may reconsider the AD's again down the track if it doesn't improve. I'd like to keep trying the exercising for now
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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Yeah DS has probably noticed but he sees me more of a fun mum now which is great. I highly doubt DD notices she's so wrapped up in her own world. She's not the kind of person who ever asks if I'm okay or what's wrong.
Bit sad really. I know if something bad happenned to me she would be upset but she doesn't really seem to care about my life. That's not sad, it's very normal for teenaged- early 20s girls. I may reconsider the AD's again down the track if it doesn't improve. I'd like to keep trying the exercising for now What are you doing for exercise? And what is the frequency? How consistent are you being?
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Hi Susie
I've only been walking and running. Probably only a couple of times a week at the moment.
The eating is okay mainly healthy.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Posts: 11,650 |
How are you feeling today?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Posts: 497
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I'm feeling amazing Indie! My friend and I partied on the dance floor at Ed Sheeran last night. Best night ever!!
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4
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Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4 |
I'm feeling amazing Indie! My friend and I partied on the dance floor at Ed Sheeran last night. Best night ever!! How fun!! I like Ed Sheeran's music. Good for you.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I thought so 
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Posts: 497
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Hey Indie and BrainHurts
Yep he's very talented!! You seen him too Indie?
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
No would like to though..
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Update. I've now been divorced for 8 months. It's been a long hard road in fighting for my marriage for the past 3 years or so. I didn't win the battle. I fought so hard but my WXH is in deep with OW and I guess will never get out. I now just believe him to be one big coward.
They are still living together unmarried after 3 years.
I don't know how I feel about him anymore. Most days I don't even think about him anymore. The occasional time I do think about him I just feel feelings of disgust and hate.
I'm still doing my course which is going well.
For the past month I have been dating a lovely man who is just beautiful and we get on really well. It's only very early days but we really enjoy each others company and he makes me laugh.
I never even thought I was ready to date again. But a friend introduced us and we just clicked. And now I realise I AM ready for another relationship. I realised what I've been missing. I'm glad that I waited until I was divorced.
I am really happy. Thank you everyone who has posted on my thread. Will keep you updated.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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That's so nice.
Your ex was a huge nightmare with a nightmare family to boot. I don't think moving on is a mistake.
If you really like this guy I'd look up all you can on Dr Hs advice for remarriage as a mother and blended families as this can affect your dating decisions. Maybe even drop him a line.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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