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Joined: Apr 2001
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Originally Posted by julesm
sunday evening i gave him my list of what he needs to do for our marriage to work. we talked about it and he seems genuinely onboard (but we will see) he said he feels relief that he has something to follow because he feels lost!
so today is monday the start of a new week and hopefully i'll see some changes.


jules, but there is no plan here. We gave you a plan and - once again - you are not using it. Hope is not a plan. Did he change his phone #s? Email address?

Do you have a plan to start following the MB program by spending 20+ hours of undivided attention time together? I don't know what was achieved by this talk if there is still no plan.

If you want your marriage to change, you have to follow a plan. It really is that simple. Where are you and your h in Surviving an Affair? Are you studying the basic concepts?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Jules,

now that he has said he wants to make it work, you should do as Melody says and work through the checklist. Just saying he will work on it is not enough, because people tend to forget what they said to keep you off their back.

You have done the right thing by confronting him and telling him he needs to step up. Now move it along by rigorously following the program, before you find yourself holding the same speech again next month.

You can do it! Be courageous and don't let up.


me, DH
all the children
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julesm Offline OP
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hi guys
If i see no change in his attitude should i enter plan b as soon as possible even with very little financial back up? this worries me when i have the children to look after.

xx


hurt@soconfused
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Originally Posted by julesm
hi guys
If i see no change in his attitude should i enter plan b as soon as possible even with very little financial back up? this worries me when i have the children to look after.

xx

Jules, he would have to continue to support you. He can't just stop. I would ask him to move out since he is not doing anything to recover your marriage. Once you get him out, contact a lawyer to make sure he continues to support you. When you get him out, you can go into Plan B.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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hi melodylane,
just a quick update, things are not to bad at the minute, i feel like we are on the right track. we have spent more time together over the last 2 weeks than i ever thought possible smile
we have even had 3 nights out without the kids!! we have not done this for over a year.
i can 'FEEL' a change happening in my h, in me and in the atmosphere at home. i really hope these are all good signs.
i'm so much stronger now i can't believe how easily i confront him, and how much he responds, this was something we could never do {always let things fester} i think we understand eachother now better than we ever have in the past.
thanks for still listening.
x


hurt@soconfused
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