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Joined: Nov 2010
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All avenues that he used to facilitate the affair must be closed.

He needs to not have Facebook at all and a dumb phone or no phone at all.

What spyware do you have on his devices? He is very used to having a SSL (secret second life) and so you must keep spyware on all his devices. His affair was long and entrenched and he kept contacting her.

Has he provided just compensation to you?

Have you both been tested for STDs?

Did you expose to her parents?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jun 2011
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Facebook is going to be an affair trigger which reminds him of her so it should be deleted entirely. A dumb phone sounds like a good idea.

I think he is motivated to do whatever you can enforce, but his addiction will fill any wiggle room you allow.

However if he is skypeing you, he could just as easily Skype or email her using other accounts.

It may be an idea to use a polygraph to discover if there are any other avenues of contact and let him know he will need to sit polygraphs in the future and the only way he will pass them is to abide by no contact. If he fails one, it's separation.

Some people get the work log in details and log in remotely.

Do you have any spyware installed on him? GPS on the car, VARs etc?

If you are snooping and things are coming up clean, he isn't stopping places to talk to her on a burner phone for example, then you will feel so reassured that snooping will become boring.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by MrsRMN
__yes but I don't push it___Allow technical accountability.
]


There should be no need to push it. He should be falling over himself to provide you with transparency. He should know anything less, after what he's put you through is a deal breaker.

I get the impression that you view your very natural wariness as some sort of problem to 'get over'. However your gut has been right every time.

You will feel just fine when everything is affair proofed and your spying showing you proof of that.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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