Not necessarily, this is just the normal pattern. Welcome to the world of madness. Try not to seem reasonable, nice won't win anything.

I also thought maybe was just trying to find a way to get me to talk....so he can manipulate me. I refuse to break my plan b!

We have a bundle package with a land line, and internet bundled together. He only shut off the internet.

I did leave my attorney a message about this. I told her to do what she needs to do to get the job done. I said shake him up if you have to. He is going to be extremely shocked at the things I know come Monday morning!

This is getting to be harassment.

Ginger whenever things like this happen you have to think what else he could do and block/prevent. Ideally you need to separate your affairs so he has no power over them. Can you get your own internet account etc?

These are very short term problems. The BS tends to have these arrangements nailed down pretty quickly in Plan B.

Financially I can't pay for all of that myself right now after paying the lawyer, and until H starts paying the house bills. I paid all the house expenses already, and H isn't giving me any help until he's forced to I'm sure. I'm trying to get a roommate who will pay cash to help me financially, and then I could get my own account for internet and cell service. Hopefully by next week that will happen.

Also, I did get the job, I got the call yesterday! I don't start until June 22nd though.

Hooray for the job!

As others have said, crazy and vindictive is par for the course with waywards. But Plan B will keep the drama far away once you get everything in place.

Infidelity can be VERY expensive for them BS between legal costs and the actions of the WS. I've spent several thousands myself between those things and hiring a PI. It is not fun!

Don't be scared to ask for help from friends and family when you find yourself against the wall financially. Now that you've exposed, you'll probably be pleasantly surprised to see how much people are willing to help in that way and already understand it. It can be hard to ask for help though, or at least it was for me.

Keep pressing on Ginger, you're doing great. You've got a new job and you're laying out the groundwork for a great future. These troubles will pass and you'll feel so much better in a few months as long as you keep pressing forward with concrete steps like this!

I'm going to set up a separate cell phone acct today, and Mon morning I'm going to set up my own internet....i guess I've just got to do it.

The electric is set up as joint also....it's a coop, do you think I have to have him taken off, or will they not shut it off unless we both agree? I tried to have him taken off the account early last week, but they wouldn't without his approval. I probably should I guess, I'll have to stop before the hearing Mon morning to pick up a form for him to sign in court.

Thank you axslinger! I appreciate the help so much! And I'm so excited about the job too!

If you are having trouble paying the house payment I would just cancel the internet permanently.
If you have a laptop or cell phone you can use free wifi or go to the library.
As for the cellphone, you can get unlimited minutes on a $20 phone from Walmart for $20/ month.

H is responsible for the house payment. Since I have no income until I start my job, I've just been really watching my finances since H isn't helping with anything else.

Congratulations!

Thank you indiegirl!

Have a new cell now, and Monday I will get the new account for the internet/email, and bring the form to remove him from the house electric acct to court for his signature.

Anything else you can think of? Social media access is all deleted, so that's covered.

Nervous for tomorrow's hearing. Not sure what to expect.

I think you've done some good Plan Bing and all that's left is a bubble bath/ pedicures/ chocolate/ internet shopping. Though that may be just me.

This part of the process is terrible, very little that can help. Check in with those around you who care about you, before and after going to the courthouse. Vent a little. You're probably going to be a bundle of nerves and you'll want to get a lot off your chest. Seeing the wayward spouse in court just conjures up a bunch of different feelings, it's very hard.

But you've exposed and so you've got people around you who care about you that you can lean on.

And post here about it to update us and to vent if needed. We all care about you too.

Thank you so much! I do feel the love!!

My mom drove down to be here for me in court, and support me, she's staying till tues. The awesome thing about that is before this happened, my mom and I hadn't spoken for 3 years. H has no idea that my mom and I are even speaking, let alone that she will be in court with me!

After this is over, I'm moving in a roommate to help with expenses, and we have plans to watch movies, grill out, and go fishing together!

My lawyer said POSOW will not be allowed to be there, but mom can, unless H objects.

I have a question. Is there ever going to be a point in this divorce process where he is going to be able to start thinking anything positive about me, or is this process going to keep him thinking negatively of me the whole way through?