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Ok them, tomorrow I am paying a visit to the OM and tell him I care about my wife and to leave her alone. And I know about there affair.
this will be intresting, oh I am taking my brother as a witnesses just incase. While you are speaking to him, keep in perspective that you are talking to a cockroach. Treat him like one.
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Well my brother and I dropped by the OM place I talked to him and his mother. Thy both agreed no contact with the OM.
the OM did not say much. He keeped looking at the ground and fiddling with his fingers.
A intresting contact. I wondered if it will make a difference.
Last edited by RonClark; 07/11/15 07:23 PM.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Well my brother and I dropped by the OM place I talked to him and his mother. Thy both agreed no contact with the OM.
the OM did not say much. He keeped looking at the ground and fiddling with his fingers.
A intresting contact. I wondered if it will make a difference. Good job. Yes most OM's are weasels.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Not sure why, but I sure had a lot of adrenaline pumping which made me shaky.
I sure hope my visit made a difference.
when should I confront my wife with what I know and how can i get her off this divorce track from this point.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Has anyone, who you exposed to, put any pressure on her?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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So far no one really, the ladies from the food bank will see her Tuesday and Thursday. She going to talk to her.
she does not have many close friends.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Well, tonight my wife said she need to talk a walk. She was on the phone for 36 mins with the OM and came backed pissed.
it looks the the OM did not take my advice to leave her alone.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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It looks like she want to run right now, i guess its time for legal counsel
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I talked to the OM mom and it really looks like showing up did help. She was there when my wife called and even talked to her about it. And made it clear to her that thy would call me if she did show up. She even told me the OM said if she can do this to her husband, i cant trust her not to do it to me. Good news i hope  Thanks for letting me vent here.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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You don't know what was in the conversation. He could have told her the whole thing is too much trouble and bother and that he wants out. She's angry that you are messing with fixes for her addiction. Drug addicts do that when enablers stop helping them stay addicted. She is an affair addict.
If she's going to run, do not allow her to take the children. The children stay in their home. With you. And you do not leave the home, no matter what.
In case nobody has mentioned this, keep a VAR (voice activated recorder) on you at all times. Don't let her make any false charges that you are violent or abusive. I think you're a darn smart cookie and a brave man.
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I posted before reading this. Told you so! Nice work.
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True, but this was coming from his mother. And his mother even talked to my wife before she hung up on the OM mother.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Well it seems she is getting depressed. I offer to help with things and I get I don't want your help.
I hope she will come around and not follow through with the divorce.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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How can i find todays show? I want to save my call in.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Well it looks like the OM is still talking. Whats my next step?
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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The OM is feeling the heat from your exposure of the affair. You might be in for a long war to win your WW back. You've read about Plan A, right? Your exposure is an important part of Plan A.
The other important part is making yourself the attractive guy to your wife. Don't try to teach her about why her affair is wrong. She knows it's wrong. She doesn't care. Addicts just want their fix. They don't care what they do to family, how it affects their jobs, nothing.
You will be a broken record. "I love you and I'm standing for our marriage. Care for some iced tea?"
That sort of thing.
It's not over. Your Plan A is working! Good for your family.
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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Should I have an another talk with the OM? Or should I let it just sit for now?
I really don't a divorce fight.
I guess the good news I'd the text messages are only sweet one way.
he's just leaving short messages mostly with smiley faces.
Oh, Doctor Harley said to say I care for you instead of I love you.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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About another visit to the OM, why not? It worked well last time, when your brother came with you. Can you control yourself and not be threatening or violent? Like the strong way you did last time?
You're making things unpleasant for them. OM's mother doesn't like what he's doing. Your wife and he may be texting, but things are not as exciting for them as before, when reality hit. They don't have the Love of the Ages, where things get better all the time. They have a dirty little affair, and exposure (like Melody Lane says) is like turning the light on in the kitchen and seeing the cockroaches scatter.
I forget, have you posted OM on cheaterville.com? That's a good tactic, causes more trouble in affair land.
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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Should I have an another talk with the OM? Or should I let it just sit for now?
I really don't a divorce fight.
I guess the good news I'd the text messages are only sweet one way.
he's just leaving short messages mostly with smiley faces.
Oh, Doctor Harley said to say I care for you instead of I love you. Your wife will go back and forth between you and OM. As I the case with Sue in Surviving an Affair book, their affair will not die and recovery cannot start until it dies a natural death.
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