Have you seen this?

Recovery is not complete if Resentment Lingers

Stop starting new threads with the same information. The advice will be the same no matter how many threads you start. You are just wasting posters time having to re read your story every time.

You have already been given advice. Where are you in your plans to
move? What are you doing to continue to snoop since your WH shows signs of continuing his A further underground?

1 month...just found out one month ago

You found out about the affair 1 month ago?

That's sad. I hate the people who give in to this behaviour. I'm sorry to hear this, as I am just starting to see problems I didn't see before. I'm not sure where this is coming from, but my heart tells me something's wrong:( have u talked this through. Yet?

lefty, please start your own thread in this forum. Just click the link for "Surviving an Affair", and create a new topic.

Let me start this post by saying--- I locked myself out of this account and had to open a new account and posted under that account BUT alas have found my log in info for my old account. SO I am copying/pasting the exact post.

SECOND--this one is important because you all told me this was going to happen and I didn' t listen or believe you Naive

THIRD- Update, as of this week my house is on the market, so the title of those post could really be changed. Now that I have learned all the truth from the OW regarding the affair, there is no way I am staying in this state.

My husband had a long term affair, 6 months. We have been reeling from the devastation of all of this. He was extremely vile and vicious in his affair. I found out about the affair 3 months ago and for the past 3 months he has been lying and lying and lying about the details/specifics of the affair.

Well... a few days ago out of the blue the mistress contacts me and begins sending screen shots of all their relationship details. It is during this time I learn just how vile my husband was. Pages and pages worth of emotional details about how her body is the best he has ever felt or seen, how much he loves her, and can't wait to move out/kick me out of the house so they can be together, how he has never felt so good blah blah blah etc.
It is also now been brought to my attention, that he didn't just have an affair with her..... him, his mistress, and a THIRD girl joined in. So now I am now dealing with the devastation that my husband had two mistresses/affairs.... and a threesome as an affair.... I am so so sick to my stomach and can't get the images out of my head of what that threesome looked like. I have been sent all the nitty details about the threesome frown and made the mistake of reading them......


As an FYI since the affair was busted 3 months ago, there has been ZERO contact between he and either affair partner. Full disclosure to all friends and family has been done and I even took the liberty of telling the affair partners friends and family. Since I found the affair 3 months ago my husband has continually professed how much he wants us to work will do anything it takes etc.

BUT... he did lie over and over about what exactly the affair relationship was. He lied about never having sex or inappropriateness with anyone else in our marriage etc.. now I find out the second partner/threesome partner.. He lied saying he never told her he loved her or that he was leaving his family for her. He now claims they are all lies and never meant any of it.

So, I am beside myself. How do you process not only one affair....but a threesome affair frown is it possible to recover from this...... how?!?!?

I have since learned this is a lie. They met much more than he told me AND he would drive over an hour to pick her up, drive her back to our town, and then over an hour back to drop her off!! Ouch double ouch

He was willing to do anything to get you off his back. He has never been willing to do what it takes to save your marriage. The first step of which is to tell you the entire truth.

Do you actually KNOW for sure he is not still in contact with her? She sounds like a bunny boiler who is not going to let him go without a fight. I am sure that is why she contacted you. She is hoping you will leave so she can take your place.

The lesson here is never take the WORD of wayward seriously, because it means nothing. What matters are actions and anything you can prove.

The OW very probably gave you this information in the hopes you would leave him. I would strongly suggest you pack and move out of state. You can move elsewhere and just rent a place until your house sells. But you are not safe living there.