I get where you're coming from. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. We started homeschooling for education purposes, not social. I can't keep my kids from making poor choices by keeping them out of school. My job is to teach them how to make the right choices in social situations. Academically, my school district is not good. However, I have evaluated every year whether my kids would be better served with homeschooling or public school, and this year, for this child, the answer is public school. For the 5 year old, I just don't think he's ready. Next year, I plan to go to school full time, and he will too. After that, I'll evaluate again.

Of course. i was a public school teacher for 5 years. My oldest tookAP Chemistry online and when I called our high school counselor to take the test with them, she told me that she didn't think any of them would bother to take the test since they couldn't pass!!!! There were 22 of them in that AP Chemistry class... 35 of them took various AP exams and only 5 of them got a 3 or better. I found outside classes for my oldest and he took AP Stats ( 5) AP Chem (4) AP Calc (5) AP Physics (5) AP Government ( 5) and AP Economics ( 4). Jedi just sounded anti-homeschooling. Homeschooling can be a good choice. I know some public schools are good. I've taught in them, but they don't exist in our rural area.

Off of my soap box.

Are the Harley kids dealing with a spouse having an active affair, in plan B and hanging onto finances by a thread if the wayward husband withholds money?

No, and I am NOT saying she SHOULD homeschool, but your post made it sound like life would be batter for anyone rather than homeschooling.

Homeschooling works better when the mother isn't completely insane.

Jedi, the decision has already been made here. I recognize that your kids got a bad homeschooling experience, but I don't think that belongs here. You seem to be assuming that homeschooling is more difficult or more stressful than public schooling and therefore less appropriate in a stressful situation like Plan B. Lots of people would disagree and see it the other way around. But it's all really a moot point because she's already announced her decision.

There's no reason that homeschooling for a 5 year old needs to be rougher on a Plan B than the stress of taking them to school. In past generations, 5 year olds weren't even in school.

I understand that Jedi is just sharing from his experience. And I know that the details of my situation are different, and I am making the best choice for my child and myself.

Watch out, knitters carry sharp, pointy sticks.

Color me surprised. My oldest leaves for his second week of scout camp tomorrow. It's a big national conference deal out of state that WH signed him up for before he left. Kiddo asked him this morning how much spending money they had suggested (he'll be buying some of his meals on the road) and WH couldn't remember, but gave him $20 and said it was all the cash he had. That's fine, I was planning for this in my budget but I didn't know exactly how much they had recommended. So later, back at home, kiddo was packing and realized he had misplaced a part of his uniform, and called WH to borrow his. WH brought it by, and when kiddo went out to get it, WH handed him money to take, too. That's definitely a financial relief for me.

And that's what you need to do. If homeschooling is the right and best for you and your children then that's what you need to do.

School has gotten off to a good start. Kiddo has made friends already and enjoying the classes. He told me today that they're having an open house tomorrow night. During the time he's with his dad. I asked him if he planned to go, and he wasn't sure. Then he said "you've already seen the school...." So I asked if he was trying to say he wanted his dad to go and me stay home. He said "well, kinda..." And I was a little disappointed, because dangit, I should be able to go to my kid's open house! I'm the one who needs the information. But I was very relieved the he gets it. And also sad that he gets it. He has to choose, from now on, which parent to invite to things. I'm having a hard time seeing how this can be a good long term situation. I know that it is for me, and me being miserable after being triggered by seeing him would not be good for them, but...this is heartbreaking.

School has gotten off to a good start. Kiddo has made friends already and enjoying the classes. He told me today that they're having an open house tomorrow night. During the time he's with his dad. I asked him if he planned to go, and he wasn't sure. Then he said "you've already seen the school...." So I asked if he was trying to say he wanted his dad to go and me stay home. He said "well, kinda..." And I was a little disappointed, because dangit, I should be able to go to my kid's open house! I'm the one who needs the information. But I was very relieved the he gets it. And also sad that he gets it. He has to choose, from now on, which parent to invite to things. I'm having a hard time seeing how this can be a good long term situation. I know that it is for me, and me being miserable after being triggered by seeing him would not be good for them, but...this is heartbreaking.

Ginger, my ex took our 8 year old to her open house night (it was her time)...i took my two older ones on another night and while there i saw a lady from sunday school class with her ex husband, walking with their son.
I thought, Why does this lady go with her ex when she cries for the past year in class about her ex and being a single mom?
I enjoy not seeing my crazy evil ex.

In the big scheme of things, missing an open house is really not a big deal. I know it doesn't seem that way when you are used to attending everything as a parent. Many parents skip it at my son's school and did for my daughter as well (she's grown now).

You can contact the teacher/s and ask to set up a meeting to get all the paperwork and have them go over the "pertinent" information you missed at the open house. They have never given me a hard time about this.

I understand, and you guys are right - I have no desire to see my WH. I just hate it. And I know that if none of this had happened, the open house still could have fallen on an inconvenient time where one or both of us couldn't go.

Still just feels like one more crappy consequence of his affair that the kids and I have to deal with.

My IM just contacted me with this:

"On another note: He is looking for some DVDs (maybe other things eventually but has not named them) that are his (and made it sound like they're not shared family items) he would like."


I am not interested in fighting over DVDs, but I'm also not interested in contact from him all the dang time asking for stuff. What would you do? Tell him to make a list but make sure he puts everything on it because I'm only doing this once?

Have her send him an email saying:

"Ginger asks that you put together a list of all possessions that you want her to give you so she can do this once." Something to that effect....

Thanks Melody. That's what I had in mind.

He doesn't need those DVD's.

A gambler keeps putting money in a slot machine, because every once in a while, it pays a small amount. If it didn't pay, after a while, he would quit trying.

Your husband is trying to make you do something. Next time he will ask for CD's, a stapler, bubblegum or nail clippings. Be firm in your plan B, don't give in next time. Because if the slot machine pays a little, he keeps expecting the jackpot.

I'm not sure why you think I've "given in" to him or broken my plan B?

Of course he doesn't need those DVDs. He's been gone for over 9 months without them. I am about to send a proposed divorce settlement (because he has pushed through with it, as described previously in this thread). He can just counter to my settlement with a list of crap he wants, or he can give the list now. I don't see the difference.