Nope, he is her boyfriend.

I do not know anything about her but a first name. I could expose at OW work but that is about all. She knows I know.

Do you have her phone number?

I think I just found it. What do I do with that?

I would start by finding her full name and then get her family, either through fb or whitepages. You need to expose to her side too.

How do you know this? If you don't know anything about her except for a first name, how can you make this statement?

This 3rd part must know who this OW is. How did you even manage to talk about OW unless this 3rd party knew her well?

Could you explain who this 3rd party is, and what they told you?

You need to tell him to leave, and he needs to leave immediately.

You have been coping with a situation where you H is sleeping with another woman, and it is wrecking you, emotionally and physically. You need to get him out of the home and not have any further direct contact with him. You need to tell him in a letter that you will consider reconciling with him when he can prove to you that OW is out of his life.

This separation is called Plan B, and you need to prepare for it and do it properly so that your H does not break your rules and continue to make contact with you. Contact is making you ill, and his sleeping with two women is making him very happy. That needs to stop.

Are you actually having sex with him? That needs to stop, and you need to be STD tested. He also needs to have a clean test before you consider going near him again - AFTER the affair has ended.

You need to be in Plan B by the end of the weekend. Don't worry about where you H is going to live; that is his problem. If he doesn't leave peacefully, pack his stuff, put it outside and change the locks, while he is at work. If he tries to break back in, call the police and let him tell them about his sleeping with another woman.

Do you have children? How old? Are you in paid employment?

noone, I am sorry about the newest developments. The others are right, the affair should be exposed right away. I would find the OW's Facebook page and expose there according to the steps in my exposure thread.

I would also ask your husband to move out. If he will not end his affair immediately, then you must separate. If he won't move out, then you should pack and find another place to live. That step is called Plan B. The reason is because staying in touch with him a) makes you look unattractive and b) will tear you down emotionally and physically, making it much harder for you to recover.

And please don't send him here or tell him about this program until he has ended his affair. This program is for recovery and you can't possibly recover until he ends his affair.

I would pack up his clothes and tell him he needs to leave immediately.

I had a ton of things I had to do today but while running around, I spoke to my mom and dad. Very helpful to have support. My extended family that I have been out of contact with is also starting to hear and offer support. I told my mom first and boy was that hard but worth it. Hard to tell dad too but he has been fantastic, I cry just typing that.

I tried his side a few times but no luck so far - will keep trying. I may have to email if they do not take my calls. I suspect that might mean the know, but can't say for sure.

The third party was someone that worked with OW at her seasonal job and seemed to be in a position to know but guess not.

Will try to find out more about OW. You are right that I can not say she does not have a someone, I only have WH story.

We have no kids and I am the breadwinner. He does not make much money at all and can in no way pay the bills.

noone, that is a great start!! What you want is for as many people as possible to be calling him. Have they started calling? It is important to get your exposures completed as quickly as possible so it hits your husband with a tsunami effect.

Have you searched for the OW on Facebook? That is the ideal place to stage an exposure.

Did you read the exposure thread?

I have read the exposure thread and took one of the letters and started to modify it for emailing his family since I have not been in contact by phone. I can also send that anytime, day or night.

I have not yet searched FB, my phone has been ringing off the hook. For the last two hours I spoke to a cousin I have not talked to in years and it was wonderful to get support.

My next two tasks are to email and find anything I can about OW.

Thank you very much to taking time to help me.

Well, turns out the number that I thought was OW was just a fishing buddy that I know. I will keep looking, but nothing else so far.

I have emailed he family and childhood best friend who is a pastor and married us to tell them about the affair (a modified letter from the exposure 101 thread). So far, I do not know of anyone calling WH but I would really have no way of knowing at this point.

He is now gone hunting for two weeks (verified with air taxi company that flew him out, no women, only 2 guys - the company owner is a friend of mine who I trust, no one else flies where they went and the owner said he will not fly him out early, as a favor to me)

So, I am taking off and working out of a different office for 1.5 weeks. Another friend of mine is housesitting. I will be home before he is, so I think this break will do me good.

Please keep us in your thoughts. I sure hope exposure helps him end this affair. This black hole feels like it is swallowing me.

How did he meet OW? You said you live in a small town that she was at "seasonally", was she working seasonally? If you know where she works can you get her information from her employer (you might have to be sneaky about this and not blatantly ask for it)? You said you have a common friend (the one who said she was out of town now for good), can you get more information from that friend about her?

Finding out who the OW is and exposing on her side is very, very important. Do not be lazy about finding this info out! We have had posters find out the identity of unknown OW's/OM's who were in a different country, and you share a small town together, surely there is some way to find out her identity if you dig enough.

Did you verify this for yourself? My husband's OW was named a man in his cell phone. He had her as the second number for a (legitimate) employee that he worked with.

Can you go to the office at her seasonal employment and ask if anyone will give you her last name? And if you're lucky, her home town?

OW does work seasonally in our town and I know where. My sister in law (WH's brother's wife)is her boss. I asked her this morning for info and am waiting for a reply. However, I will keep looking.

I did verify the phone number was not OW myself. I first called and WH buddy answered and I paid for a criss-cross of the number. I will keep looking, I will find her.

I did hear from WH father. He left me a voicemail saying he is very upset with WH and wants to talk to me. I will call or he will try again. This reaction is a total surprise to me. I expected home to tell WH forget about me.

Exposure really did help. No matter what happens, I feel more loved and supported by friends and family that I could have dreamed. I am sure WH does not see it that way tonight.

You are doing great with exposure. Now you really need to focus on exposing to OW side.

Can you call your SIL to ask her directly for contact information?

noone, when does your husband come back home? I would have a plan in place to separate. When he comes home, I would demand that he end his affair immediately. If he won't do this, then he must move out. Are you prepared for this step?

Can your SIL give you the number?