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Joined: Nov 2007
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Originally Posted by noone733
How is it he can file in a state he is no longer living In?

You may be able to challenge that, ask your lawyer.

Originally Posted by noone733
Man divorce sucks. Can't wait till this is over.

Sure does

Originally Posted by noone733
Oh,and after telling me what he is taking,

Telling you what 'he would like to take' does not mean that you have to give it to him. Remember that possession is 9/10ths


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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I am looking for any tips on how to survive the divorce process. Man this hurts. I got a copy of the draft paperwork that WS completed. Guess there are some sections he wants me to fill out. I have not opened the email yet- I just can't. It has been tears all day.

On one hand leaving Alaksa was the right thing to do. I could not have survived there- too many memories. But, I don't know anyone here and feel very lonley. I adopted a dog and that helps a lot.

I have friends and family all giving advice- some say fight and do not give him one dime more than I have to and some say just get it over to move on. I just want it over but also do not want to kick myself by giving half of everything I have worked so hard to save. He spent everything he had and so looks flat broke. Amazing how much an affair Costs! Especially with plane fare and rental cars.

And why is it I keep thinking only about the good times and not the bad? I think it would be easier if I remembered more of the bad times!

Thanks for being here to listen. It sure does help!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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How did you receive this information? Was this from your lawyer?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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It's from the IM. She feels this is necessary to move forward.


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
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Communications concerning assets should go through your attorney. if you have a choice of which state the divorce is filed in, make sure it is the one most advantageous to you. I used to live in a state in which affairs could result in a significant forfeiture of assets, such as no alimony. Some judges will also consider money spent on the affair in settlements. You won't know until you ask.

If you don't want to deal with, tell the IM he should send this to your attorney. It will cost more but may give you peace of mind.

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Originally Posted by noone733
He said he is working on the paperwork to file for divorce and told me he wants half of pretty much everything and to except papers to sign in the next two weeks or so.

He never paid a bill in the last 10+ years, I scrimp and save to support us and now he wants half. He always had money he made from the business but spent that an hunting trips, beer, going out to lunch everyday and other fun stuff for him. He had the affair not me! He even took a year long vacation on money from selling a bunch of our stuff and did not share any of that with me! Grrrrrr. Seems so unfair- his bad deeds should Count! I moved to Alaska because it was his dream not mine. I had a career in California but gave that up. Because I was able to start a new one and he chose to be a lazy beer drinking bum, I get the short end of the stick.

Uggg. So sorry to hear all this. Like someone else said - possession is 9/10ths... Can you liquidate any money that he wants half of before he files? As for physical things - is he in Florida now? If not, how is he going to get these things? Can you have sold them and spent the money - wink wink?

All states have some sort of residency law. If you have any attorney you should definitely question this and see if there is any advantage to you filing first (if possible, FL has longer residency requirements than most.) But if he's lying about his residency maybe your attorney can challenge that.

My advice regarding how hard to fight for things is to put up a decent fight, but stop if it starts really getting the best of you. There is something to say for having it behind you and moving on, but please don't just roll over. When I divorced my ex (who I later learned had been a serial cheater all our marriage) I just let everything go. I told myself I was being mature, but now I realize I was just avoiding conflict and I feel I was pathetic and regret it very much. He totally used me and tossed me aside and I never stood up for myself.

I would do everything you can to minimize assets before he files. Good luck.

AnyWife #2892387 01/08/17 06:42 PM
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We are really down to the various accounts and 4 acres of land. He did not want much of the furniture, not that we had a lot- the house in AK was only about 1000 Sq feetc.

He sold a lot of stuff-guns, atvs,tools, etc... while I was in MT. He said he split it between us but I find that hard to belive . He had a lot of cash and used it to support himself for about a year.

Once I have the filled out paperwork and before I sign, I will take it to a lawyer.

THanks again for all the help and support. And good luck to everyone out there struggling. Here's to a much better 2017!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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