Hi all. I am sad that I have to be here but it is what it is. I have read a lot on here and ready to start the exposure.

Here's a bit of background on my situation.
*married 8 years
*have two kids 4 yo and 1.5 yo
*on 9/18ish WH says he's unhappy with life and want to go to therapy, I am very supportive of this.
*9/30 he mentions out of the blue that he is unhappy with our marriage, I immediately get defensive and am not happy or in agreement.
*11/8 (after no change on his part in my opinion) he says he wants to separate to figure things out. I am not happy.
*during this week I start to really think about our marriage and realize that I agree 100% with what he has mentioned so far. I let him know I will fight for our marriage and we can make it right. He seems to agree and we start reading a few things about marriage together. I have some hope.(I asked him a couple of times if he cheated, since I feel like it was out of the blue, he says no)
*11/16 He confesses the affair with me. He also says he doesn't think he can be happy with me. He's felt something with her he never felt with me. He tells me that he called it off with her the day before.
*OW was a former coworker. I believe the EA was while they were working together, she left the beginning of October and that is when the PA started.
*I think he thinks that the affair was just the physical part not the emotional part before hand.
*He can't really say how long it has been going on. "just a couple of months"
*I decided to visit a friend 19 hours away for the Thanksgiving week.
*I've looked through phone records he is still having the affair even though he told me twice that contact hasn't been made by either of them.

So, I've done some digging and found both OW and OW BH on FB. And I have gathered a list of contacts.

Tomorrow I start the two day drive back home. So I won't have time to actually do any exposing. I have a plan to do that Monday.
I do feel as though he is addicted to this thing he has going on and I know he is not himself, not the man that I love anyway but I am still scared to actually go through with it!

Help! Thoughts! Advice!

Sorry you are here but welcome. Have you read the exposure 101 thread? Can you give us your list of exposure targets?

Great job w finding OW and her BH on FB.

Thank you.
Yes I have read it twice and I'm pretty sure I am on information overload!

My family, WH family, OW, OW BH. <-Neither of the friends list are available but I did find a list of friends that have 'liked' some of their things. I am pretty sure I know her maiden name and I know where she's from.

Is there anyway you could get the exposure done tonight before you make the trip home?

Yes, it could be possible.

What would be the reasoning?

I was thinking the same thing. Exposures are much more effective when done on the weekends because people are home then. They are much more impactful because folks have time to respond. Are you using the template letters in my epxosure thread? It is real important to ask people to use their influence to persuade the cheaters to end the affair.

MelodyLane, yes I understand the reasoning. I was wanting to go to bed early tonight but I could do it tomorrow. Yes, I had planned to use the templates on the exposure 101 thread. Was there a template for what to say to the OW BH?

I think it would be a great idea to do it tomorrow when you are hours away from your husband.

There is no template for the OW's BH, but you would want to call him and give him the facts of the affair and ask him to be your ally in killing the affair. Give him your H's cell # and give him all your contact information. He will be in shock when you tell him and will have follow up questions.

Thank you. So, I don't have his #. Just his FB. And I am not sure if he even checks it regularly. And I don't know how I would go about getting his number? I do know that he is a k9 cop with the local university.

Gotcha. You could try calling the university and getting ahold of him. You could also send him a PM, BUT you do risk his wife intercepting the message and responding back pretending to be him. When you PM him, ask him to call you. Say that you are the wife of XXX and that his wife is having an affair with your husband.

Have you exposed yet?

I just got to my hotel for the night. I will be doing it shortly.

He's mad I told his mom.

Good. His anger from exposure means you've hit a good target. Will his mom put pressure on him to end his affair?

Yes.

That's fantastic.

Have you read in the Exposure 101 thread on what to expect?

yes, thanks.

We just facetimed (so he could see/talk with the kids) and he was very upset. He said "you told my mom andmy little brother?" I said "yes". He said "why did you do that for" I said "I am not keeping this a secret and we need the supoort" He didn't say anything to that.

Good job, bellachaos!! Keep it up and don't stop until you are done. You are doing a fine job.

The BH of the OW responded to my FB message!
He said that it was the first he heard of it and that he wasn't surprised. The OW admitted it to him when he asked her about it. He gave me his cell to contact him. or said to message him.