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I am getting there working on concrete evidence. Right now. This is exhausting. I almost caught them video setting but the dog started barking tonight is another night.
Thanks

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It's over, even exposure did not make a difference. She still claims that he is a friend and just a friend. Swears she is not having an affair. Wedding rings have been given to my mother-in-law for safe keeping. I was able to talk to them and they informed me that she told them she wants a divorce and does not want any chance or reconciliation with me. They have also enlightened me about how she continues to lie. I have decided that I do not want this anymore.

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Originally Posted by Mr_needs_help
It's over, even exposure did not make a difference. She still claims that he is a friend and just a friend. Swears she is not having an affair. Wedding rings have been given to my mother-in-law for safe keeping. I was able to talk to them and they informed me that she told them she wants a divorce and does not want any chance or reconciliation with me. They have also enlightened me about how she continues to lie. I have decided that I do not want this anymore.

First off, it is not "over;" you are still married. As you know from reading my exposure thread, ALL waywards are infuriated about exposure and typically threaten to divorce. You knew this going in. Exposure causes the affair to crumble and it may fail in the same day or it may take 6 months. Now that you have exposed, your wife cannot bring her affair out into the open without admitting that she was lying. Its ok that she continues to lie.

Your evidence should tell the truth. Hopefully, you had evidence!!

Quote
I was able to talk to them and they informed me that she told them she wants a divorce and does not want any chance or reconciliation with me.

If a falling down drunk says she "wants a divorce" do you take that seriously?

The point I am trying to make is that you continue to hang all of your hopes on the irrational, fogged out rantings of wayward who is high on the fumes of an affair. You need to completely ignore her rantings and focus on YOUR PLAN:

1. killing her affair. use exposure, confrontation, make as much trouble as possible in the affair

2. presenting yourself in the best possible light.

And that is fine if you decide to leave your marriage. That is your choice. But you should not make that decision based on the fogged out rantings of a wayward. Her feelings will change once her affair is killed.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Mr_needs_help
It's over, even exposure did not make a difference.

To WHOM did you expose and what did you say? What was the wife's reaction?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Started with the wife when 10 minutes before she is leaving to go to a concert with our daughters she informs me that she will not be home. Her friend's son was arrested and she is going to meet her, stay overnight and help her get him out of jail tomorrow. I called BS and said you are having an affair and meeting him, if this is true, then I can check the number you called this morning, where she claimed she was asked to help, and it will be her number. I already checked and it was his. Additionally, I overheard them planning a hotel stay in the same town she is going to. Phone records indicate a call to the hotel. Sex toy is gone with her and sexy panties are also gone from where she stashed them.

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Originally Posted by Mr_needs_help
Started with the wife when 10 minutes before she is leaving to go to a concert with our daughters she informs me that she will not be home. Her friend's son was arrested and she is going to meet her, stay overnight and help her get him out of jail tomorrow. I called BS and said you are having an affair and meeting him, if this is true, then I can check the number you called this morning, where she claimed she was asked to help, and it will be her number. I already checked and it was his. Additionally, I overheard them planning a hotel stay in the same town she is going to. Phone records indicate a call to the hotel. Sex toy is gone with her and sexy panties are also gone from where she stashed them.
To "expose" means to tell people who do not already know about the affair. You can't expose a situation to someone that already knows about it.

Your wife already knows about the affair, since she is the one having it, so confronting her is not exposing.

Could you answer Melody's question, please, and tell us to whom you really did expose?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by Mr_needs_help
Started with the wife when 10 minutes before she is leaving to go to a concert with our daughters she informs me that she will not be home. Her friend's son was arrested and she is going to meet her, stay overnight and help her get him out of jail tomorrow. I called BS and said you are having an affair and meeting him, if this is true, then I can check the number you called this morning, where she claimed she was asked to help, and it will be her number. I already checked and it was his. Additionally, I overheard them planning a hotel stay in the same town she is going to. Phone records indicate a call to the hotel. Sex toy is gone with her and sexy panties are also gone from where she stashed them.

This is not exposure. Obviously your wife knows she is having an affair. Did you read the exposure thread?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I have not posted for a while as I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I did read exposure 101. I could not do that, it is not who I am. I have also had numerous discussions with my in-laws, who are pissed at her and have opened my eyes to a lot of information that I did not know. This has me looking across the past 20 plus years that we were together and questioning a lot. Additionally, I have met with mutual friends and everyone is telling me the same thing. She has lied from the beginning. I found out the reason she told me that she did not speak to her father was a lie and this has let me to review the 20 plus years and question a lot. Based on this the marriage is over. I have no interest in attempting to save it. I want to move on and start new. I need to grieve and heal. I want to be happy and maybe someday there will be someone who will be able to love me for who I am and not have to lie about their past.

Going forward things will not be easy as divorce is expensive. Neither of us can afford an attorney or to move into our own place. So we have a rough road ahead. The affair is being exposed, just not like in exposure 101. I am telling people as I see them or have contact with them. This includes her friends who have reached out to me or I have reached out to for a mutual interest. She is a user. She uses people until the no longer serve her purpose and then they get tossed to the side. I have seen it in 3 friends. 2 she does not speak with anymore and the other she did not speak to for close to a year, then she contact her out of the blue to have dinner. This is the same friend I spent 3 hours with Saturday. She wanted to talk to me, we discussed everything and her money train from this ex-friend is done. Thank you

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Originally Posted by Mr_needs_help
I have not posted for a while as I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I did read exposure 101.

There is nothing we can do for you. Best of luck...


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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