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I dont want to tip her off on my snooping. The garbage can yeild useful info. Dont need her getting clever. They were all local businesses. My work (because she made me late friday), my lawyer(for consult and so she couldnt hire), my doctor, and a jeweler(has an archery shop in the back). She must be confused! Not sure why shes flat out rejecting nice gestures...
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My current plan A is
-Even though she barely responds to my texts, never leave her waiting for my response more than a few minutes. That way every time shes waiting for OM to reply to her, she can see im ready for a response..
-Stay in constant contact with WW immediate family, for intel, and blocking OM from joining the family.
-Avoid lovebusters (cool head)
-Be SuperDAD
-Keep the house in better order than she did.
Affection is one of my wifes biggest needs, i think the hugs and I love you's do work for her, but i think shes "concioussly" trying to be cold about them, or feels like if she reciprocated as a form of cheating on OM.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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My current plan A is
-Even though she barely responds to my texts, never leave her waiting for my response more than a few minutes. That way every time shes waiting for OM to reply to her, she can see im ready for a response..
-Stay in constant contact with WW immediate family, for intel, and blocking OM from joining the family.
-Avoid lovebusters (cool head)
-Be SuperDAD
-Keep the house in better order than she did.
Affection is one of my wifes biggest needs, i think the hugs and I love you's do work for her, but i think shes "concioussly" trying to be cold about them, or feels like if she reciprocated as a form of cheating on OM. The most critical part of Plan A is EXPOSURE. You have skipped many aspects of that step. So all the steps you listed will be a waste of time. Plan A without exposure is futile. I realize you "promised" to help her hide the affair, but that is a promise that cannot be kept. You had a small chance at recovery and I see the odds getting smaller and smaller by the day.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Affection is one of my wifes biggest needs, i think the hugs and I love you's do work for her, but i think shes "concioussly" trying to be cold about them, or feels like if she reciprocated as a form of cheating on OM. As long as the affair is alive and well, her lovebank is closed to you. This is why killing the affair is so critical to recovery. I understand her enabler sister told you to "back off," but it is not her ox getting gored here. IT IS YOURS. You are paying dearly for that bad advice. I have been on this forum every day for 15 years and exposure gives you about a 50/50 chance if it is done early and done thoroughly. It is absolutely the BEST weapon in saving a marriage. Dragging it out and/or doing trickle exposures takes the odds down much further. There is nothing - absolutely nothing - that even comes close to the effectiveness of exposure on saving a marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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2 addresses down. No luck, one was a dental office, the other was the dentists home. I also tried recontacting OMW, with no luck, no response back to me. OMW also 'liked' OM sisters vacation photos 3days after i exposed to both OMW and OMS.
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if you cant get names and contact info there pay for services on the internet
that does not work hire a pi
time is critical
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Joined: Apr 2001
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2 addresses down. No luck, one was a dental office, the other was the dentists home. I also tried recontacting OMW, with no luck, no response back to me. OMW also 'liked' OM sisters vacation photos 3days after i exposed to both OMW and OMS. What about the OM sister? Have you tried reaching out to her? Can you send her a message and ask her to have the parents call you about the affair? I am concerned you are not taking this seriously because you were told to "back off." Is that the case? If that is the case, I don't see much hope here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OMS was sent a message, no response, she later blocked access to anyone seeing her friends list.
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How to converse with wife when she wants to change/modify our verbal custody arrangement and we dont agree
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Joined: Jan 2010
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How to converse with wife when she wants to change/modify our verbal custody arrangement and we dont agree Through lawyer only.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Nothing has been filed. I wont file this early, and i havent been served either, she seems to want that slip away quietly divorce where everybody agrees, and all are happy!
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And exposure gets thrown in my face! Telling me i sugarcoated my side while telling poeple what shes done! And yes i my side seems sugarcoated to those contacted via facebook. But ive given full confession to those closest to the situation.
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And exposure gets thrown in my face! Telling me i sugarcoated my side while telling poeple what shes done! And yes i my side seems sugarcoated to those contacted via facebook. But ive given full confession to those closest to the situation. Ok, the point of exposure is not to burden people with all your dirty laundry but to ask for help with her affair. We don't care if it gets thrown in your face, obviously your WW and her enablers will not approve.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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