|
|
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13 |
In this country they do not publish phone numbers nor who they're married to. I will look at getting a PI. I question at times whether I should just let it go and move on especially if my wife is adamant about divorce right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
In this country they do not publish phone numbers nor who they're married to. I will look at getting a PI. I question at times whether I should just let it go and move on especially if my wife is adamant about divorce right now. I emphatically suggest you not let it go. The reason she is adamant about a divorce is because the affair is either active, or there is a plan to resume the affair. By exposing to the wife and his family, you will wreck that plan. It will be harder for him to contact her and it will ruin your wife's fantasy about resuming the affair if those on his end know all about her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The KEY to saving your marriage and eliminating the fog is to run the OM. He will never be effectively eliminated until you reach his family.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13 |
Thanks Melody. If she's truly in withdrawal (which I really do think she is) could she be saying these things about divorce and really mean it or is she still in the "fog"? I will expose it to OM's wife with a help of a PI though.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Thanks Melody. If she's truly in withdrawal (which I really do think she is) could she be saying these things about divorce and really mean it or is she still in the "fog"? I will expose it to OM's wife with a help of a PI though. Oh, she is still in the fog. And yes, she really means it, but the desire for divorce is due to the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9 |
Melody I can't find anything about him or his wife online. I've tried translations and what not but it seems they are off the grid so to speak. I myself am not a big fan of social media and it appears OM isn't either. That is the hard part, how can you find information on someone and their life if they don't put it on the internet? Almost all companies and organisations put their workers online. It is almost impossible for this not to happen. My husband and I have never had any form of social media (not even LinkedIn), and we were both listed under our roles. I found OW's husband in his company role, just by knowing her name - and he lived in another country and speaks another language. Stop finding obstacles that do not exist, and just get it done.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13 |
SugarCane unfortunately this is the type of company that does not. I understand you're trying to help and thank you for your input but trust me I'm doing everything I can to help myself. I don't know the OM's wife's name to look for her. Also with LinkedIn it does not tell you their relationship with their connections on their profiles.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9 |
Well, there's a brush off if ever there was one! SugarCane unfortunately this is the type of company that does not. I understand you're trying to help and thank you for your input but trust me I'm doing everything I can to help myself. Well, I don't "trust you", and I don't believe that you are doing all that you can. I don't know the OM's wife's name to look for her. I did not know the husband the name of the husband in my case, either - but a bit of searching revealed someone with the same surname who could only be her husband, because of some fact that I won't go into here. You do not know what you can find if you don't spend time looking. Also with LinkedIn it does not tell you their relationship with their connections on their profiles. I didn't tell you to look at LinkedIn - I only said that I am not on any social media, including that one. Why are you responding with that point? I think you don't want to expose to the wife. For some reason you are frightened to do so. Well, you're allowing this man to fly into your area and have sex with your wife whenever he can. Good luck with that.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,534 Likes: 9 |
unfortunately this is the type of company that does not. Is he a spy?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Is there a reason you don't want to expose to his wife? Usually when a BS puts up this many obstacles, there is another reason. I have been here every day for 15 years and helped thousands of people do this; never had one who couldn't track down the spouse of an OP. But I have seen several who made promises to their WS to not expose.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13 |
Everyone I'm doing everything I can and want to expose it to the wife but again the OM does not have any social media profiles. The only one he has is linkedin. I've exposed to everyone that I could minus the OM's family which again I cannot find. I'm going to hire a PI to see if I can find OM's wife and family but as it stands I can't find information if it's not there.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197 |
Everyone I'm doing everything I can and want to expose it to the wife but again the OM does not have any social media profiles. The only one he has is linkedin. I've exposed to everyone that I could minus the OM's family which again I cannot find. I'm going to hire a PI to see if I can find OM's wife and family but as it stands I can't find information if it's not there. I would expose to every linkedin contact he has, especially those with the same last name. I would ask each one of them to have his wife call you directly. Almost everyone I know has family and friends on linkedin, not just coworkers.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 13 |
Only problem is that I would need to make a connection with him for me to see his connections on linkedin. I have tried it but he refused my connection.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Only problem is that I would need to make a connection with him for me to see his connections on linkedin. I have tried it but he refused my connection. You can get the names of many of his contacts if you look under his "skills." You can see the names of anyone who has endorsed him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197 |
Only problem is that I would need to make a connection with him for me to see his connections on linkedin. I have tried it but he refused my connection. Then make up a fake linked in account that he would connect to and use that to get his contacts.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,084
guests, and
80
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
