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How about a friend of OM who is already exposing them? How do you know this? A mutual friend is doing it, but doesnt know the guys name. Does it help anyway?
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What if I can't get the name? Exposing still good? I'm reading exposing 101 now. You need to get his name in order to expose. You will also need to expose to his family and friends.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How about a friend of OM who is already exposing them? How do you know this? A mutual friend is doing it, but doesnt know the guys name. Does it help anyway? No.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How about a friend of OM who is already exposing them? How do you know this? A mutual friend is doing it, but doesnt know the guys name. Does it help anyway? No. Mutual friend not or guy without name not?
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Mutual friend not or guy without name not? [/quote] Neither. First off your friend can't expose anything if he doesn't have a name to expose. And secondly, the affair should be exposed by you. Your friend has no invested interest in your marriage and one of the goals of exposure is to elicit support for your marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you have a phone # for the OM? IF so, try looking up his name here: http://www.okcaller.com/index.php
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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What if I can't get the name? Exposing still good? I'm reading exposing 101 now. Did you put spyware on her devices? If you put spyware on her devices you probably will find out who OM is. Did you check online phone records for a number for him.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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A mutual friend is doing it, Why would a mutual friend do this? Is it his business to talk to other people about your wife's affair? How did it come about that he ends up doing this, and not you? And what exactly does he plan to do? How does he plan to tell people, and whom does he plan to tell? Does he intend to to write a letter to the HR department, copied to their line managers? Will he ask for a response in writing? What is his strategy?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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A mutual friend is doing it, Why would a mutual friend do this? Is it his business to talk to other people about your wife's affair? How did it come about that he ends up doing this, and not you? And what exactly does he plan to do? How does he plan to tell people, and whom does he plan to tell? Does he intend to to write a letter to the HR department, copied to their line managers? Will he ask for a response in writing? What is his strategy? I feel like I'm such a [censored] doing this stuff. Kinda weak to scream it off the roofs. I have no access to her phone and no idea how phones in general work haha, I'm a pc guy. She also locks her phone by default, for years, like I have. Her friend is willing to go all-in because they are both new born Christians, the assumed OM has two kids and a (pregnant) wife. I assume this is because my wife told me 3 weeks ago this: Today I had a fight with a guy in the elevator, he blamed me for telling a secret here at work, that he is having an affair with a co-working of mine. He has a pregnant wife and two kids. I assume she was talking about herself, that she was the one he has an affair with and that he thought she spoke about it to other people. I am trying to figure out if its really this guy.
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Are you back home?
Can you hire a PI?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am in her country, and yes I can probably. Philippines is very cheap. How much time do I have? What's a PI?
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I am in her country, and yes I can probably. Philippines is very cheap. How much time do I have? What's a PI? A private investigator, someone who can gather the Intel you need to find out who the OM is. How much time do you have? What does this mean?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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How much time do I have before the affair is running too hot for her to return to me? As far as I know, and as far as she told me it's a recent affair of 4 weeks.
Last edited by johnnyempec; 11/20/16 12:42 AM.
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How much time do I have before the affair is running too hot for her to return to me? As far as I know, and as far as she told me it's a recent affair of 4 weeks. Everyday is too Long to let it continue and will become more entrenched as we speak. That is why it is so important that you find out who this OM is immediately and expose the proper way to kill the affair. That is the best chance you have of saving your marriage and have her return to you. You also must become the best Husband you can to her by meeting her emotional needs and not committing any love busters. Do not tell her of your plan to expose. What is your plan to find out who this OM is? Can you check online phone records for a suspect number? Can you hire a PI?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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is it okay for me to ask 'Are you still having contact with [name of the guy?]'
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Any general guidelines on how to meet my wifes needs? Especially when she's cold?
* Undivided attention
* Showing her that she is importance
* Listening to her without trying to find solutions, when she's whining about something.
* What more? How much is too much? Giving space a good idea?
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I might be able to find out who the guy is because we're going to her parents for a couple of days to celebrate her birthday, when going there we're stuck in the bus for 4 hours, on the way back too.
The thing is, we do not have internet there. That means I have to delay the affair killer and focus on her needs.
Last edited by johnnyempec; 11/20/16 02:57 AM.
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It is really going to be difficult to get his name. It is not an option for me to just go to her work and ask for the guy right?
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Well I just called her work, which is big company and asked for a guys name she gave me 4 weeks ago, adding that he didnt have facebook. Sure...I don't buy it. Anyway, there's no guy with the name she gave me. So I am pretty damn sure it's a guy I have on my crosshair now. Not sure how to confirm it. I might just tell my wife "Are you still having contact with [guys name]?" Like I stated above.
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I might just tell my wife "Are you still having contact with [guys name]?" And how would her answer be proof of an affair? If she says "yes, I'm still having contact", is that proof of an affair? If you ask her outright whether she is having an affair with X, do you thinker one minute she will tell you? It can't be that hard to find out who she's having an affair with. Come on. We've all done it. Get some proper evidence the ways we've been suggesting.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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