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Well I got everything set up and ready to go for this week. I pinpointed the days and time frame that I believe my husband and the OW are getting together. Since I'm going to be in a three hour long interview one day this week and it happens to be on the OW's day off I'm pretty sure they will have a false sense of security and not be able to resist a rendezvous.

I went through the phone records further and even though the relationship was supposed to be over as of mid December I can see where on the OW's days off my husband has an unusual lack of any phone calls or texts for a couple hours during the late morning to early afternoon on those days. Hopefully this investigation will provide the hard evidence I need to move forward with the exposure.


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The PI is following my WH tomorrow. I will be tied up in a long job interview so I figured it would give him a false sense of security. I feel like this is the right choice.
I also have a GPS tracker but so far I can't find the OBD port in WH's car! I've been trying to install it for a few days but with limited time (when he is showering) I haven't succeeded yet. His car has some after market modifications so the installer I spoke with said it possibly has something plugged into it already or additional materials are covering it.
Hopefully I'll get some hard evidence tomorrow. If not I'm going to try to find a voice activated recorder next. I've been doing well not mentioning the affair. This is very hard but necessary I know and I do feel relieved that the PI will be watching him while I'm in the interview.


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Good job! We will be standing by!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thanks MelodyLane.


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The PI followed my husband today. I wasn't able to get the GPS tracker on his car due to after market modifications. He arrived at work at @9:30. We had intimate relations before he went in. He showered beforehand and didn't get to wash himself thoroughly because I was around. We spoke on the phone at 12:45 before I went into the three hour long interview. I got out a little early at 15:30. I texted the PI who informed me that my husband left work at 13:15 and never returned. The PI went to the OW home and neither her or my husband were there. The OW's teenage daughter came home and opened the garage at 14:30 and it was empty. I believe my husband and the OW met at a motel because he never showed back up at work. The PI lost him because he drives really fast. The PI firm is getting a different GPS unit that doesn't require an OBD port for next week so we can track him. He lied to me when I texted him at 15:30 and said he was about to leave work but the PI was there and he left over two hours earlier and didn't go back. It took him over 15 minutes to call me back when I got out of the interview. That's been the norm lately where he has been too busy for me and one of the issues that originally made me suspicious. I'm about 99.9% sure that he met her somewhere today but I think the missing piece is the GPS tracker. If he goes out drinking with his friends and leaves his car at home this weekend I hope I can find the OBD port but if not then next week I should have one that works without that capacity. The hardest part is acting like I don't suspect anything. This really hurts.


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For the record I just wanted to add that I've inadvertently driven my husband and his mistress underground. I discovered Marriage Builders 2.5-3 weeks after I suspected there was an extramarital affair and during that time I made some mistakes because I didn't know any better. They have been communicating via some messaging app since I discovered their excessive talking and texting and now they are even being very cautious about when and where they meet. I'm spending thousands of dollars to get hard evidence but it's worth it because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm being lied to each and everyday. I truly hope I can save my marriage because I love my husband and I've invested years in this marriage but no matter the outcome in the end I will at least know that I'm not insane which has been what my WH has been trying to convince me of for over a year. If I had one word of wisdom to pass on it is to follow your intuition and get the evidence!!!


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I'm a disaster. I sometimes wonder what the heck I'm even doing. I've already lost ten pounds because this whole situation literally makes me sick at my stomach. I want so much to confront him right now but I know it will just make it harder to get the evidence I need. All of his actions just prove he is trying to keep me appeased enough to get by with carrying on this affair. I already know he is an addict so it's no surprise he is now addicted to carrying on a secret life. Hopefully I'll sleep ok tonight and wake up with more resilience and determination tomorrow. He's drinking and smoking pot with his brother downstairs right now and after ( probably) spending hours with his lover this afternoon he as always could care less about me. I suppose I would care more about salvaging this relationship if I felt like he could or would change but as it stands now I feel like I'm not being treated with the least bit of care or consideration so I'm having a hard time fighting alone to save this marriage. Sorry everyone. I'm just so conflicted, hurt and discouraged atm.


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You have no reason to be sorry. This is a devastating situation to go through. You need to get the evidence asap so you can expose and go into a Plan B if needed, before you compromise your health more than it already has been.

Were you ever able to put spyware on his phone? Or put a VAR in his car? These are things that will not break the bank and you can do today.

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Some people get the GPS from Brick house security with a 5 day battery and magnetic case.

Hang in there take it one day at a time and see your doctor for ADs if you need help managing your feelings.

Last edited by apples123; 01/13/17 11:02 PM.
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I agree, you have nothing to be sorry for. So when will be the next time that the PI will follow him?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Thanks for the replies unwritten, apples123 and BrainHurts. I'm already on an antidepressant. I started on one last spring when I began having trouble sleeping and suspecting my WH was addicted to pornography or had an online relationship. In hindsight I can see where the relationship has been plagued by neglect for quite some time.

The PI said today that they could order me a different GPS and I could pick it up next week. We haven't set up the next surveillance date yet. I think I will have to make up something that I have to for Wednesday or Friday so WH and the OW feel safe to meet again. I definitely need evidence asap.

I spent time going to different stores in town this past Thursday trying to find VARS but it looks like I will have to order one online.

I haven't done anything with the phone yet because he protects it more than the family jewels but I know it would be a gold mine.


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Keep working on getting the phone accessed or purchasing a VAR. Can you order one Amazon Prime? This could give you solid evidence within a day.

Do you have your exposure ready to go?

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Did you try Staples or a similar store? The Staples in my area has VAR's available for pickup, you can check the online site for 1 hr pickup.

I wouldn't put this off any longer.


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I got one from Radio Shack.

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Unwritten, SusieQ and apples123,

I will look at staples and radio shack for a VAR on Monday. If I order from Amazon my husband will notice.


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I do have my exposure list ready and a weebly account for the evidence.


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I would also start preparing for Plan B. Have you read about Plan B? If your WH upon exposure is willing to end his affair and agree to ALL EP's and recovery items you give him, you may not need it. But I have a feeling it will not be this easy. At this point you have overextended your Plan A and it is affecting your health so you need to be prepared to go into a dark Plan B if it comes to that.

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I completely agree unwritten. I'll read up more on plan B. Thank you.


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Originally Posted by Montgomery
I completely agree unwritten. I'll read up more on plan B. Thank you.

You should go into Plan B if he won't leave that job. That is the only way this will ever work.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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FWW/BW (me)
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2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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