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Joined: May 2017
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How on earth do I expect him to cut off contact when he needs to discuss pick up and drop off and general needs of their son?

Is this hopeless? We have been trying to recover from this for a year already and he continues to have inappropriate conversations with her. He says he wants to stop but doesn't know any other way to talk to her. I think it's an addiction. We are already started counseling but I just found evidence last night that he's still talking to her.

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Originally Posted by gennysue
How on earth do I expect him to cut off contact when he needs to discuss pick up and drop off and general needs of their son?

Is this hopeless? We have been trying to recover from this for a year already and he continues to have inappropriate conversations with her. He says he wants to stop but doesn't know any other way to talk to her. I think it's an addiction. We are already started counseling but I just found evidence last night that he's still talking to her.
Welcome to MB. Are you married? How Long? Do you have children together? Were either of you married before?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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We are not married, together just over two years. His affair was at the beginning of our relationship. We do not have children together, we each have a child with our previous partners. We've been floundering and trying to deal with this unsuccessfully for the past year. His ex is very hostile toward me and sometimes him. He is afraid to anger her, so I cannot be present at the times they exchange their son, although I'm trying to sort out a compromise on that.

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Originally Posted by gennysue
We are not married, together just over two years. His affair was at the beginning of our relationship. We do not have children together, we each have a child with our previous partners. We've been floundering and trying to deal with this unsuccessfully for the past year. His ex is very hostile toward me and sometimes him. He is afraid to anger her, so I cannot be present at the times they exchange their son, although I'm trying to sort out a compromise on that.

Gennysue, I am so sorry oyu find yourself in this terrible situation. Since you are not married, you are not really in a position to demand anything. If I were you, I would end the relationship and cut your losses. You are better off pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn't have this enormous baggage. Your relationship is already so damaged that it would take an act of congress to fix it. You would also be facing years of heartbreak because of his association with this woman.

You really have a choice here, a) short term and long term heartbreak or b) short term heartbreak and long term happiness. I know which one I would choose.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



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