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AlwaysSmile #2892818 01/19/17 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by AlwaysSmile
He also did identify theft as he appied my credit report without my agreement and then get my solo own redit card number and checked its balance, beside Geri g hold of my saving/Checking accounts. He then incorporate those accounts into our MINT app. It seems to me that the best way to protect myself is to apply a new SSN.

I'm wondering if any posters has knowledge in this area's could give me suggestions.


Lock down your credit with all three credit reporting agencies. Do this today and keep your credit locked down permanently only unlocking for specific requests that you authorize. Locking is free and unlocking requires a small fee. This is something everyone should do because it prevents anyone from accessing your credit. You must do all three because you have no idea which someone will use. Without a credit report, nobody can use your social security number to get credit in your name.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
MelodyLane #2893535 01/31/17 05:26 PM
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I realize getting a new SSN is a lot of work when applying the new number.

My husband had a very serious behavior after church service On Sunday a Week ago. He got arrested and $500 bond bailed out two days later. I filed one most time harassment restraining order. In the injunction hearing the judge ruled one year no-contact yesterday. A domesticate disorderly conduct and stalking charges is pending, with initial appearing set to February 2nd. An Elder Rights Project lawyer Sam helped me with the case.



AlwaysSmile #2893536 01/31/17 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by AlwaysSmile
I realize getting a new SSN is a lot of work when applying the new number.

My husband had a very serious behavior after church service On Sunday a Week ago. He got arrested and $500 bond bailed out two days later. I filed one most time harassment restraining order. In the injunction hearing the judge ruled one year no-contact yesterday. A domesticate disorderly conduct and stalking charges is pending, with initial appearing set to February 2nd. An Elder Rights Project lawyer Sam helped me with the case.


living_well #2893537 01/31/17 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by living_well
Originally Posted by AlwaysSmile
He also did identify theft as he appied my credit report without my agreement and then get my solo own redit card number and checked its balance, beside Geri g hold of my saving/Checking accounts. He then incorporate those accounts into our MINT app. It seems to me that the best way to protect myself is to apply a new SSN.

I'm wondering if any posters has knowledge in this area's could give me suggestions.


Lock down your credit with all three credit reporting agencies. Do this today and keep your credit locked down permanently only unlocking for specific requests that you authorize. Locking is free and unlocking requires a small fee. This is something everyone should do because it prevents anyone from accessing your credit. You must do all three because you have no idea which someone will use. Without a credit report, nobody can use your social security number to get credit in your name.


Unfortunately my lawyer told me it's a couple thing. Her husband always checked hier credit report so what my husband did is fine. Plus as my husband contacts I would know what he does. I am so sorry to hear what my lawyer said to me. Therefore I will look into change lawyer.

AlwaysSmile #2893857 02/03/17 02:38 AM
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My husband got one year no-contact ruling in injunction hearing last Monday. There's also a criminal case pending on him - stalking and domestic disorderly conduct.

AlwaysSmile #2893858 02/03/17 02:44 AM
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Originally Posted by AlwaysSmile
Originally Posted by living_well
[quote=AlwaysSmile]
He also did identify theft as he appied my credit report without my agreement and then get my solo own redit card number and checked its balance, beside Geri g hold of my saving/Checking accounts. He then incorporate those accounts into our MINT app. It seems to me that the best way to protect myself is to apply a new SSN.

I'm wondering if any posters has knowledge in this area's could give me suggestions.


Lock down your credit with all three credit reporting agencies. Do this today and keep your credit locked down permanently only unlocking for specific requests that you authorize. Locking is free and unlocking requires a small fee. This is something everyone should do because it prevents anyone from accessing your credit. You must do all three because you have no idea which someone will use. Without a credit report, nobody can use your social security number to get credit in your...

Unfortunately my lawyer told me it's a couple thing. Her husband always checked hier credit report so what my husband did is fine. Plus as my husband contacts I would know what he does. I am so sorry to hear what my lawyer said to me. Therefore I will look into change lawyer.


I'm looking into community lawyer who is helping domestic crime victim like me .

AlwaysSmile #2893859 02/03/17 03:05 AM
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Do you think my husband's behavior is domestic abuse? Should I report to the detective who interviewed me regarding his stalking and domestic disorderly conduct the following statement my husband said to me after I found out the OW:

1. "You have nothing. None of the money are yours! Go back to Taiwan and all money and house are mine."
2. "My co-worker said you don't work and that is why you are specious of me having an affair."
3. "you have bipolar. you are in a manic state if you are angry again, I will take you into the psych ward."
4. "You look bad. There is a police report against you." "She said if you were her husband she would hit you." - After the OW called in the police in his building when he and I asked the OW not to give him lunch box.
5. " My management said you are the problem. If I divorced you then the problem is solved as they only care about the project performance. Dawn (the management) said you are the problem and I should divorce you."

Last edited by AlwaysSmile; 02/03/17 03:07 AM.
AlwaysSmile #2893984 02/05/17 06:39 AM
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Anyone know if I can withdraw money from my IRA account when divorce is already in the process. As of now the temperature hearing has already occurred.

AlwaysSmile #2893987 02/05/17 09:07 AM
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You need to ask your attorney about this.

MelodyLane #2898990 05/17/17 06:42 PM
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Well finally he got a court order at the end of January to have no contact with me for a year as the result of harassment restraining order hearing. My harassment restraining order lawyer (via elder rights project, so it is free for me ) said I have enough evidences of his harassment. And the case was handled by a female judge.

In the beginning of March he tried to apply a loan for $55,000 using our house which I didn't sign. Originally I agreed that he could borrow up to $10,000. Later my new lawyer said that I did the right thing.

In this last three months, again, he gave me a lot of HARD time including not allowing me to go back to the house to get my personal stuff like my books and clothes, when both the police and my local friend who he also knows requested for me. The local detective officer asked me many people he could interview with for my husband's criminal case of staking and domestic disorderly conduct. This happened on January 20 in my church after the Sunday service. He refused to leave the building, has some body contact with at least two men, so I had to call the police. I am so sorry for what had happened, but as you know he moved my car away twice, visited a Senior Center multiple times while I was having lunch there, showed up after church service once near my birthday of January 12 and followed me into a Cafe, showed up while I had a cup of coffee another time in the same Cafe. However I didn't report to the police that he used my ID and personal info to check into my credit history to get my credit card number. And then called that Bank to know the balance of that credit card. Those are all bad identity thrift unlawful behavior! My first lawyer told me his behavior was fine as her husband also did that to her. Therefore I fired my first lawyer who didn't think I should file for harassment restraining order after I told her my husband stalked me multiple times, including last time after church service on 1/20. I believe my first lawyer just wanted to have more drama from my husband so that she could make more money out of
me.

As of now the house is still not on the market as my lawyer is a low fee lawyer who just not has my case in her priority. I paid her retainer fee on April 16 and she only met me twice for(1)signing the working relationship paper and (2) told me she would contact his lawyer for items I like to get from the house and document from me she needs. Starting from April my husband only needs to pay me $405 for spousal support based on temporary hearing ruling. My rent is $500 so I worked as a Uber driver for about nine weeks until some problems of Uber management alarming me to stop.

The good news is that I will relocate to Milwaukee area on May 28 to get intensive CPE( clinical pastoral education) training during the summer. Even though I owe two credit cards a lot of money and apartment and parking fee will jump to close to $1,000, I am very excited about my new life in a different city.

AlwaysSmile #2899054 05/19/17 09:10 AM
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*edit*

Moderator's Note:
The purpose of this forum is to help others find solutions using Marriage Builders concepts. We ask that you keep this in mind when posting.

Last edited by PhoenixMB; 05/19/17 09:32 AM. Reason: TOS
AlwaysSmile #2899062 05/19/17 10:57 AM
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Thanks for editing. Sorry that I got carried away by the verse and the reflection.

AlwaysSmile #2899138 05/22/17 12:06 PM
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In my Divorcecare class (13 weeks, I only missed the first week) at my church, I interested His Needs Her Needs book. One lady said she also read it! I haven't had a chance to read the gift book I got from this site as I am pursuing a divorce rather than reconciliation. However it will be used later I am sure.

AlwaysSmile #2899142 05/22/17 05:33 PM
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Can anyone please give me some guidelines as far as the donation/offering to church or causes you believe in upon getting divorce settlement money? Thanks.

living_well #2899144 05/22/17 05:42 PM
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LivingWell,

I locked down my credit report with all credit bureaus and paid the money to be a member in a such group, which will especially report any suspicious activity to me right away. Thanks

Last edited by AlwaysSmile; 05/22/17 05:43 PM.
AlwaysSmile #2899145 05/22/17 05:49 PM
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Dear all,

Unfortunately my husband still use all my information to apply for Social Security disability for me. I think he intended to have me get the monthly support as such so that he doesn't have to pay me spousal support.

Such behavior of his is unlawful. Of cause I didn't get approved when a man interviewed me over the phone. Sometimes I wondered if that's a hoax as a similar phone call came in again two weeks later. However I did receive a copy of document related to such from a state agency. Any advice for me? Thanks.


AlwaysSmile #2899146 05/22/17 06:00 PM
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Alwayssmile, I would go down to the SS administration and let them know your husband has done this! Are you divorced yet?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2899155 05/22/17 08:30 PM
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The issue is if I do so he will get into the jail and then I will lost my future spousal support money as he will certainly loose his job.

I am still in the legal separation category. I would like it be changed to divorce. But I am afraid of not having his health insurance coverage. I know as long as I am in separation status my lawyer and his lawyer can "do nothing" for me. Pretty soon my credit cards will get to max, the credit limit.

AlwaysSmile #2899159 05/23/17 07:51 AM
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AS, do you have a plan to be able to support yourself when his spousal support money runs out?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2899165 05/23/17 01:53 PM
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Talking about money is always hard at our age who experienced financial lost as part of the divorce settlement. This applied to both husband and wife. I was a Uber driver to hopefully make some extra $ to support myself, while eating "free" lunches at a local Community Ceneter (which provides a much better program than the senior center most close to my house). My soon to be "ex" visited me a couple of time "uninvited".

One afternoon I cried and so an old lady reported to the manager Gale. Via Gale's help I got hold of a community agency, Elder Rights Project, which provided me an attorney Sam, free of charge. In just a few weeks Sam in the court got my "ex" a no-contact for a year ruling. This time I had a female judge versus the first time a male judge who denied my case because I did not have a lawyer but my husband did.

My "ex" crossed the boundary badly over and over again. I actually have cut him many slacks.. so he walked all over me to a point of showing up at the church service and refused to leave even after someone's birthday celebration was over.

At that point a phone call to the police by me, he was charged with potential crime of domestic disorderly conduct and stalking.

After the ruling of one-year-no-contact he still violated some of things and would not allow me to get my personal books and clothes from the house.

My life does not get freezing at all. But like an eagle who needs to spread the wings to unknown territory, both a new city and a new career field, to get food and to be strong.

I hope my story encourages you!



Last edited by AlwaysSmile; 05/23/17 02:04 PM.
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