Found out that my WS has been having affairs for the past 4 years.
One lasted 2 years and ended recently. (he is a Serial Cheater)

Since that affair ended he has been having multiple affairs, currently keeping 3 OW on different places. Besides these OW he also has ONS and now only wants to travel and go out partying.

And because he has been hiding money, D papers will take longer.
I have been doing plan A for 3 weeks but a very bad plan A, I kept the weekly relationship talk, so he just kept getting worst and worst and just rewriting history again and again.
I do believe he also wants a divorce so he can go partying and having as many women as he can, until he finds the perfect rich wife to support him.
He�s just a coward to ask me for D.
He also doesn't want to be the bad guy.
And of course the main reason is that I�ll get a part of the company.

But found some good evidence which was the main point of plan A.
(He still believes his secret affair of 2 years, was with his soul mate, he ended it because she would not rent an apartment to be their love nest� so he doubted her love for him and concluded she would never leave her husband)

He is now on another two week trip.

Anyway, I contacted the lawyers and he will receive D papers on the first week of August.

Question 1:
After he comes back there will be 3 weeks, Should I do plan A?
Its D for sure. But I cant have him suspect he is going to be served.

I wanted to drop all his stuff at his office and not let him come back home, but lawyers are telling me not to, not even after he is confronted� and its very frustrating.

Question 2: Should I still expose? I can only expose after he is served. Not to all the women involved, many I just have photos. But those 3 OW he is now keeping.

And should I still expose or contact 2 year affair OW husband?

Wont these exposures be viewed like revenge?
Maybe it is, but I feel like he has to be accountable for what he made the family go through this past 4 years. This D will leave me in a very bad situation financially and I am sure he wont pay for kids college ☹ They might have to drop college.

Question 3:
How do I confront him?
Plain, short, I know everything and I want a D?
Should I confront him with more info or details? ask the whys? how could he do this while the family was supporting him to achieve his dreams? Sacrificing financially for him?
Should I just say� I know everything, what are we going to do about it? (Just to see how many more lies he is going to throw at me?

I am having a very bad day and I am extremely exhausted, hard to find the answers.

Thank you

No, you should not do Plan A. You should go immediately to Plan B.


I would change the locks, pack his stuff up and have it delivered to his office. Once you have done that, send him a modified Plan B letter telling him not to contact you.


I would expose to everyone.


The purpose of exposure is to inform people and gain support, not for revenge.


I would send him a letter and tell him you know all about his affairs, telling him not to come home or contact you again. Once you do this, it will be critical to shut down any avenues of contact he might have with you. Are you familiar with plan b?

You don't have to worry about convincing people that the purpose of exposure is not revenge. Do it because you need to inform people and gain support, and let people think whatever they want.

I agree with the others, expose the affairs (especially to the OW's BH) and go into Plan B.

How long have you been married and how many children?

Here How to Plan B Correctly

Thanks for the advice. Thats all I want to do.
Expose and go Plan B.

Married 20 years, together 22.
Two kids, one in college the other finishing high school. The kids know and dont want him around. They are dreading his return in two weeks.

As for exposure, I want to do it badly but lawyers want to keep it all quiet and use affairs as leverage to have him sign amicable divorce.
They claim, I dont have strong evidence. And I need them on my side.

I am willing to hold until confrontation because lawyers are trying to secure some finances.
After that... I will have to go against lawyers if I expose.

Also, the only married OW, the 2 year affair. Her Husband is dangerous and my WH live will be at risk. I cant expose to her family and friends or he might take revenge on me for losing face. Old family, hight position, mafia contacts if not mafia himself. So this exposure I am still trying to find a way to do it. even if only after D is final.

I want to go plan B badly but again lawyers strongly advise not to.

For exposure, facebook mostly. Should I use MB template? Even though I am not trying to save the Marriage?

Thank you for the Plan B link.
Very useful.

Thats fine as long as you get him out of the house. Can you do that? I can understand the point of waiting to expose, but you can't wait around and allow him in the house. The lawyers don't understand the psychological effect of living with an active cheater.


Whatever. Apparently, the people who know him BEST are not worried, so you shouldn't worry either.


Dr Harley would disagree. Your lawyers are not psychologists and only care about facilitating an amicable divorce. I would tell them you are going into Plan B and tell them they need to integrate that into the plans.


Of course.

If there are any consequences to your WH's affairs, they are due to the *affair* and not due to the exposures.

In other words, if the OW's BH and family truly are dangerous, 1) it wasn't very smart for your WH to shack up with a mob wife, and 2) the repercussions are due to his stupid choices. I of course am not saying that I think it OK to respond to an affair with violence. I am just trying to say it is not your fault or responsibility how the OW's BH responds. If the affair went on for years, anyone at anytime then, now or later could find out, whether from you or elsewhere. OW and your WH own the fallout from that, not you.

thanks Unwritten. Yes you are right. But if something is to happen to WH I fear I would carry the guilt.

And yes, he was stupid enough to have an affair with the wife of someone connected or easily connected to triads.

OW's BH might just try to settle the "offense" with a huge amount of money, which unfortunately WH doesn't have and ends up in a beating or much, much worst.

Will leave this exposure until after D.

WH soon to be XH will arrive tomorrow.

He is currently having two affairs. OW1 is in another country, going on through WhatsApp. (PA since his last visit in June)

OW2 in in our town. I suspect started 1 month ago. (he has been away since Jul3)
He went on two Fridays dinner dates.
And spent the night? (cant confirm) or/and the whole day in nearby town. Not sure it turned PA yet. From his OWs this one is his best chance after D. Shes around 30-32, no longer marriage material in her own culture.
She's single and living on her own, able to support him and has a much higher salary than me. WH is actively looking for a replacement for me. A woman who supports him financially. And one who understands him to the point of allowing him to cheat.

He will be back tomorrow and the girls and I are dreading his return.

Plan A is out of the question.
How do I deal with him. (Cant confront yet, cant throw him out) According to Lawyers, I have to keep pretending all is fine)

Q1: How do I act? what do I do? How to avoid intimacy without him being suspicious?

Q2: Should I somehow expose OW2? Anonymously?
I dont have much info on her, facebook doesnt show me her friends. And its inactive for over a year.
(her culture could care less that he is married. She could care less that he cheats as long as he returns to her and has money. (she doenst know he has no money)

I am really dreading living with him while he is going to be developing this affair. I dont think I cant hold it much longer.

Did you read our posts?

We suggested that you go right into Plan B. If you refuse to do that, there isn't anything we can do to help.

How can I go into plan B if I cant confront him?
I have to wait until court replies back with results.

All friends and lawyers tell me is:

Keep low. Dont give him a hint or he will just disappear with everything.

But its killing me to just watch him start yet another Affair, see it develop and not only I cant expose (except anonimously) I have to live with him and pretend everything is fine.

The previous month and a half I was in spy mode. Was easier to cope.

But as spying gave results the more and more I kept finding...

Now I can continue to "spy" but I dont think I need anymore evidence. Especially since it will be more of the same. Which court might or might not use.

I will eventually find more on the financial part.

But how to I cope living like this for 2 to 3 more weeks??

Did you ever expose his affairs?

You can go to Plan B without confronting him. You follow the Plan B thread.

Have you started your preparations?

I have never heard of lawyers telling a woman whose husband is in an affair, to continue living with him and acting like nothing was wrong...

That is plain ridiculous to me. It is not only emotionally and physically damaging, but a very volatile situation that can only end bad. I would tell your lawyers that this is NOT an option, and file for divorce now and go into a dark Plan B immediately.

I already filled for D.
He will received them in 2-3 weeks.
First the Court has sent order to check for all his assets.
After I get that result I will confront and expose. And give him the papers.

If I expose now he will just hide assets. If there are any.

Until then I am just keeping low profile pretending all is well and trying to be busy away from him with the kids.

Its emotionally and physically damaging. He is active on two affairs at least.

I will go plan B one week after confrontation.
I have an IM and as ready as possible.