|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275 |
I don't know what the deal is. However, OM was not an old boyfriend. My parents are both living and I don't have a sister in CA.
But that was long ago. My EA was in February 2006, over in March 2006, and exposed. My EP's are in place. It's a non-issue.
The advice for this thread was to gather intel, and I have the items in place for that. So far nothing weird on keylogger, nothing untoward on var hidden in car. I'll keep watching.
HTH
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
HowToHeal,
So I'll discount everything you posted before these recent postings as unreliable.
Was there ever a downside for OM in all of this did your BH ever go after him or expose OM to OMs family, church or workplace. Did your BH ever speak with OM to confirm your story.?
God Bless
Gamma
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
Sadly, this poster has never taken MB advice to remove herself from this abuse. Why not, HTH?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275 |
Oh my gosh, Gamma, give me a break! It was ages ago!!! I got excellent advice from Mortarman, medc, Chrisner (rest his soul), Pepperband, and many others.
I don't know if he talked to OM, he did have all the contact info. OM lived thousands of miles away. I didn't know anything about OM's family, it was a 6 week EA with someone I didn't know!!!!
Prisca- "this abuse" has stopped. Completely. That's why.
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Prisca- "this abuse" has stopped. Completely. That's why. It sounds like it hasn't if he spent nine years continuing to bring it up and make you pay for it: DH has made the last almost 9 years since my EA very hard, up until the last year or so bringing it up often. Here's what Dr. Harley has to say about this sort of situation: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5062_qa.htmlWhat she describes to me in her letter is abuse, pure and simple. There is no excuse for the way her husband keeps bringing up her moment of weakness she experienced years ago. He is disrespectful and abusive.
I suggest that she look him right in the eye and say to him, "Listen Buster, do you love me? Do you want me to love you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? If the answers to any of those questions is 'yes' you sure are going about it the wrong way. You are not doing things that I admire, you're doing things that I find disgusting!" Be sure and check out the rest of that article.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275 |
Markos, I did say that to him, almost verbatim (I've been on MB since 2006).
I probably exaggerated because I was mad about his possible affair. It has been more than a year that he has brought anything up about my EA, or made me pay for it.
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
So, you're in a recovered marriage?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 275 |
You know what, Prisca? It's as recovered as a non-MB participating DH is going to make it. There's nothing I can do about that short of divorcing him, which I'm not going to do. I try to implement things without him knowing they're MB concepts.
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
You refuse to raise the bar. I see.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
You know what, Prisca? It's as recovered as a non-MB participating DH is going to make it. There's nothing I can do about that short of divorcing him, which I'm not going to do. Life has a way of making the hard decisions for us when we refuse to do it. Good luck.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
***EDIT***
Last edited by Toujours; 11/05/14 10:35 PM. Reason: TOS: non MB advice
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,435 Likes: 4 |
You know what, Prisca? It's as recovered as a non-MB participating DH is going to make it. There's nothing I can do about that short of divorcing him, which I'm not going to do. I try to implement things without him knowing they're MB concepts. Do you have a plan?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 789 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 789 Likes: 4 |
Howtoheal, sorry to bump an old thread. I have seen you online a couple of times, but you didn't post recently. How are you doing and do you need help? I read your history and am worried about your well being.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
788
guests, and
55
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
