I feel at times that I have to compete with his job for time with him. He knows this but we can not seem to come to a solution. I have asked him to look for another job but they are not as easy to come by at his level. He also will not accept a position that would require him to lose 30-40k in pay.
Welcome to MB.
I underlined a sentence in your post to make the point that there are solutions to your problems, such as his changing job and choosing a major downgrade in responsibilities, but for a solution to work, your husband must be prepared to use one. If he is not willing to change, he is telling you very clearly that he places his job above your happiness, and above the future of his marriage.
Essentially, it comes down to a choice between changing your lifestyle (which means a radical change to your husband's working patterns), or staying as you are. If you change, then the problems can be solved. If you don't, then they never will be solved.
The poster above me, unwritten, asked crucial questions about your husband's affairs. It is clear that your husband was able to have multiple affairs because his lifestyle allowed him to get away with them. You've posted your question in the Recovery forum, but when a marriage has suffered one or more affairs, and the lifestyle and freedoms that enabled those affairs have not changed, the marriage is not in recovery, and never will be. Your husband's woking life, which robs you of time for undivided attention, is also the direct connection to his affairs. As long as he continues this working lifestyle, I'm sorry to say that affairs will be the norm for your marriage.