I have been happily married to a great guy for over 37 years. He is 57 and I am 56. Two years ago after becoming friends with a classic car enthusiast he became obsessed with classic cars. He began spending hours and hours on the internet searching for cars and participated in The Great Race twice with his new friend, where he met someone who owned a 1972 Datsun 240Z car spec'd out for racing. He bought it and a trailer for $17,500, much to my dismay, using our home equity line, and told me after the fact that it was a race car, not even street legal. He promised me he would be doing parking lot autocross cone racing only. Then I found out he wanted to do 'track days' at the NASA southeast road course race tracks. He told me he would be taking high performance driving classes. I asked him if he planned on racing, and told him that I was not okay with that. He PROMISED me several times he would ONLY be doing track days. NO racing. Recently I found out he had planned to race all along. He had signed up to take a racing competition certification course. He left yesterday for a 4 day weekend at Roebling Raceway in Georgia. He knows I am very unhappy about it. He is obsessed with it and completely disregards my feelings and my fears that something will happen to him and he will get hurt. He gets angry at me because i disapprove. He gets angry at me when I tell him I don't want him to race. He thinks he has worked hard for his family and "deserves some fun". He is a self-employed engineer with a fantastic client base and he is brilliant at what he does. I found out that he apparently has wanted to be a race car driver his entire life and he just told me this tonight He has poured over $75,000 into this car, rebuilding engine, putting premium carb on it, etc. He leaves me home alone with our dog while he goes to these "tracK" weekends. He drinks beer and liquor while he is there at night and it just crushes me. The last time he went he drank so much he had a hangover still when he got home Sunday evening. I am NOT a fan of racing at all. I feel as if I have had a 2 ton truck sitting on my chest for the past year or more. We were perfectly happy before the car stuff. He told me he wants to 'have some fun". Like we haven't had any fun together all these years. We raised three great sons, have two beautiful grandchildren, have traveled together, go on camping trips, go to concerts, I have been to Nascar races with him even though I am not a big fan. We bowl together. He has become distant at home and I have felt as if he is shutting me out because I do not approve of his new hobby. I don't have friends I go out with as i am somewhat introverted and prefer the company of my husband. So when he goes to these things I am left home alone. I am feeling so bad, like he loves his race car more than he does me. This man has been my entire life for over 37 years. He is my soul mate. Am I being unreasonable?
