have you tried showing him RESPECT by telling him that you are more than willing to talk to these people and admit your mistake to them.....and to tell them for yourselves how sorry you are and your hope that your H will give you another chance?

this would let him save face

what you did has humiliated him....to staying a marriage with you while others think he's a fool....that's even more humiliation

instead of trying to convince him otherwise.....accept that this is how he feels and most men would feel this way

and take steps then to address the issue

another thought....offer to sign a "post-nuptual agreement" stating that if you commit adultry again, you will grant a divorce to him with the majority of your assests going to him

another gesture to show your sincere intentions and to help him save face