First time posting to you. Not a pro by any means but finished reading the threads. Wow - what a mess this has become. I feel for your DD for her parent's foolishness.

Do you think exposing will look foolish now after you having an affair? If the targets know about your A - the impact will not be as strong. Might even be downplayed as a revenge affair that you deserved.

From what I read, the affair only ended after the OMW found out about it. You didnt end it on your accord. You want your H now b/c OM is not around perhaps? thats what I would be processing anyway.

I have no good advice and I am sorry. I read the pain but I try to imagine being in your H shoes and I might move on - who needs this chaoes and pain? There are just too many fish in the sea. H was thrown to the curb by the A so freedom and new GF may sound like a good alternative.

I think you have a good heart and trying to your best to repair the damage. I think I would make a call to the pros like Harleys. This situation is way too dynamic and treacherous to follow a standard script.