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TFC,

With regard to respect, have you considered how he has handled your A? I mean do you respect him for remaining married? Do you respect him for putting up with your stuff while in the A?

I respect him as a person, but I do not respect his behavior. I certainly respect that he has not yet left the M, but I don't respect that he's getting even. So, I guess the answer to your question is - yes I respect him, but not as much as I could.

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It sounds as if your plan A is doing very well. It also seems from what you have said that it is working. You must recall that plan A is planting seeds and often does not end the A. Exposure (yes part of plan A) will help. Time will help because as Dr. Harley and others have observed most A's end. The issue is the state of things once the A does end.

Plan B just removes you from the game, but with the idea of slowing the lose of love. Again the idea is that the A will end, and when it does you want to have some love left in the bank for recovery. Recovery takes a lot of love and yes patience.

Patience has never been one of my strongest qualities. This situation is certainly testing my level of patience, but I find it growing more and more. I just need to remember to be patient.

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You are doing well, keep doing it. Oh and exposing when you find contact is NOT an LB unless it is accompaning by a good swearing out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You can state your truths without love busting.

I've been careful not to be mean when confronting about contact. Only once did I curse and raise my voice - that was when I confronted about the pictures b/c he was lying right to my face. Otherwise, I've been thanking him for his honesty in hopes that he would continue.

I am just feeling like "where are we going from here?". But I am grateful that contact between them has slowed. It is a step in the right direction.