Where I was coming from - one of us always picks up where the other leaves off, so to speak. Examples:

Parenting - we almost always make arrangements for one of us to be taking care of DD. We agreed when she was born that we never wanted her in a daycare.
Personality - I stress about things he's more laid-back about and vice versa. We compliment one another.
Home duties - when one is busier than the other, the less busy picks up the slack in chores at home. It is never really talked about, just done.

We have become a very cohesive team over the years in the day-to-day ... obviously we were lacking this in the emotional department, otherwise neither of us would have allowed for an affair to happen. Now we need to apply that teamwork mentality to our love/marriage, IMO. Maybe this is what he was truly concerned about?

Since this is something that he's obviously thinking on, would it be a good idea for me to read up on codependency just to be sure that isn't a road we're headed down?