Okay, I'll look forward to seeing your new thread. I think it would be a great idea to reach out for such folks as believer, Melody, and Mrs W, and others whose names escape me at the moment. When there's only one person posting, things can get missed.

It's upsetting to begin hearing of your husband's new attitudes and behavious, or are you just now writing about something that's been on-going? Either way, it's disturbing. He's restating that entitlement thing and he's building fences in his life, segregating wife and daughter into one place...and who knows what's going on the other fenced off places? Compartmentalization is never a good thing. It allows secrets to exist and grow. No, you’re not at all off base. (Suggestion: make his attitudes a part of the question in your new thread.)

Actually, you know...you’re not the lucky one. It could be argued his is the greater transgression because, before he engaged in his adultery, he already knew how much destruction and agony he would be inflicting. One might conclude he is the lucky one because you’ve stuck around.

TFC, there is manipulation written all over his “new” behavior and in his words. If he’s also decided he doesn’t have to tell you about phone calls and text messages, then a seriously bad trend is developing...and very quickly too. I’m beginning to wonder what other manipulative techniques he might be practicing AND I wonder what his endgame is.

His suggestion he’s putting off a decision for “years” is another indication of attempted manipulation and it’s a way to dominate the relationship…to punish you further, perhaps, and keeping you dangling, under his thumb (to use a cliché where the opportunity presents itself). These aren’t good signs and they might mean a Plan B is closer than I would have dreamed this time last week. If his new (?) behavior becomes entrenched and hardens, the process of recovery becomes more difficult or even impossible.

Yesterday was the first time you’ve mentioned something like this, TFC. Are there any other things you’ve hesitated to tell us here at MB?