Baby steps are just fine by me - progress is progress!

I started thinking on all this a bit more last night. Who was I when my H fell in love with me?

I was a woman who was strong, independent, didn't take crap from anyone, and didn't care what anyone thought. I was fun and crazy, yet responsible. I was silly and still sexy. I was everything that I am not.

I have become this boring, needy, uptight b*itch over the last 5 years. I suppose that once DD was born, I thought I had to be old - not just grow up. I took on all the chores and things, allowing my H to have minimal responsibility and maximal fun. I made myself this way! Its my fault and no one else's!

I changed who I was to suit what I thought was the perfect wife and mom. But, in reality, all it did was hurt all of us because I wasn't happy being someone else and having all the responsibility with none of the fun. Instead of talking to my H about it, I held it in thinking that he would be so disappointed if he found out that I didn't like who I'd become - who I'd made myself into. I thought that was what he wanted.

But after I thought about this last night, I realized that he's been short-changed in a big way! Not only did I quit being the fun, carefree, crazy woman he married, but I had an A too! He seriously got the short-end of the stick!

So, I need to find out why I gave up who I was ...

THAT WAS A GREAT POST!!!! That is exactly how I feel.

BS (me)-28
4 Kids
A started Jan 07

Then the time came
When the risk it took
to remain tight in a bud
Was more painful than
the risk it took to blossom.

-Anais Nin