{Sorry to take so long in responding. We had a very bad storm here last night and the main trunk out of SAT seems to have been adversely affected. My ISP keeps dropping folks’ connections.}

I'm glad you aren't going to try to set him up to lie about seeing OW #1 when he was out of town. I'm sure it just wouldn't feel right when you looked back on it. On the other hand, you've waited long enough for him to reveal it himself. It's more than legitimate for you to ask if he had any contact with her...or just tell him you already know he did (by way of TM, at least) and you can ask why he didn't let you know.

Be calm, TFC. I think he needs to see you're beyond any thought of histrionics.

Don’t forget, you’re still in a modified Plan A. You’re courteous, but you enforce your boundaries by refusing to be gaslighted or manipulated. (Just reviewing your boundaries before hand will help you keep them mostly intact.)

I can't think of anything to prepare yourself for beyond some generalities. I think if I tried to do more than that, I could get you crosswise on what you know you want to do.

In general terms though, you know he’ll try to put it back on your shoulders. You’ve told me that’s one of his favorite tactics. You can say you’re willing to totally commit to the marriage, to radical honesty, and total transparency, etc., etc., right? Itemize the things you told us earlier this afternoon that you’ve been doing. Throw the ball back in his court by asking when he’s going to commit to those? Etc., etc.

You know him very well. Try to anticipate where he’ll go, TFC, and get there before him…but do it without ranting, if you get my meaning.

Deep breaths, lady. You’re ready for this. You’ve learned a lot in the past month and you’ve grown too. Be the woman the child you once were would be proud of.