My best friend came up with her list of why I need to go into Plan B or D ASAP. I've edited names and any other info that would give too much info. Here is her email to me:

"This is a condensed list...

Not answering phone once in CA

Talking to CA girl at 5:00am

Bashing you to [co-workers] and probably anyone else who will listen

Not wearing his wedding ring and possibly telling girls that he is getting divorced or that he is not married

Going on trips without you

Treating you like sh*t...not acting like a husband or even a friend for that matter

Not being a good father to [DD], which is taking it's toll on her...her acting out more and not wanting to speak to him

Breaking promises to you and [DD]

Not being where he should be i.e. coming home from trip when he hadn't seen his family in 2 weeks

With-holding sex

Starting fights with you for no reason...asking you why you have attitude/what's your problem when you aren't doing anything negative

The text messages and phone calls he doesn't tell you about to and old

Pretty sure he saw [OW] out of town last week

Waiting too long to answer back text messages or phone calls

Upsetting [[DD]

Not telling you about messages/emails from girls

Bashing you in public "My wife is a ******" or something like that

Way too secretive and other suspicious behavior

Tried to open a checking account by himself and when you called him on it, changed the story to you guys having it as a joint account so he could put money in it when he is on the road

Won't cuddle with you

Threatens Divorce

Blames all marital problems on you and your affair even though it is his own actions that he doesn't want to be held accountable for - you've been accountable for yours

You are on a constant emotional roller coaster and he knows just what to say to placate you for awhile and keeps right on doing his crap

Gives you false hope with the promise of vacations or family time together, buying a new house together, etc.

Didn't just have an affair but actually had a girlfriend

Thinks he's single when on the road

The distasteful "boob" pictures which he cruelly left for you to find

He keeps giving out his phone number to girls

Has made no real effort toward working on the marriage and he has had more than enough time to think about what he wants to's JUNE for God's sake!

He is just staying for the convenience to him

The nights he didn't come home and had you worried sick

Possibly going across the world without consulting you

Does not want any family, [DD]"

Keep in mind that those are HER opinions ... I happen to agree with a lot of them, though!

Last edited by time_for_change; 06/04/07 02:56 PM.