We had a tiff last night. He called on his way home and said he sensed something in my voice. I let him know that I was just relaxed after having had a glass of wine. He said that I had been standoffish all day (maybe I was). I said that nothing was wrong. He went on to say that he’s really been trying and it seemed to him like I’ve given up, I told him I haven’t. Then he said: “I hope that for DD’s sake you’ll give this M a try”. I informed him that I HAVE been trying, but its hard to believe this M is going anywhere with him acting like he’s single. He then said that I make assumptions by my snooping and that pisses him off. How can he trust me again if I keep on snooping? I asked how I was supposed to trust him? He claims its not about me trusting him, but about him trusting me. I claim that its about us BOTH trusting EACH OTHER. He said that I have unrealistic expectations for M. I told him that I didn't think they were at all, but we should probably discuss them. He said that I should just be grateful that he's still home, that he didn't kick me out and that he's at least trying to be my friend. I told him that I was grateful that he was home, but he doesn't seem to be even a very good friend right now. He told me that it wasn't about him being my friend - that it was about him at least seeing IF we could be friends before deciding IF we can be married. I told him that we ALREADY ARE married and it was time to start acting like it. He ignored me and followed with “you’re drinking again, you quit going to IC … this is just done.” (I had 2 glasses of wine last night for the first time in weeks. I rarely drink. And my therapist was booked up and I was busy with DD, so its been a couple of weeks but I have all my June appts scheduled.) I told him I wasn’t talking about this anymore and hung up.

So I LB’d like crazy last night. Bad way to handle things! This morning I told him that I felt things had gotten out of hand last night and that I was sorry. He just said “Ok thanks.” I need to make up for it today with GRACE and CONFIDENCE (as JL said).

P.S. H is planning a B-day Bash for himself next month ... and apparently I'm the ONLY person in the city not invited thus far. Oh well ...

Last edited by time_for_change; 06/05/07 10:01 AM.